A long while ago Bad4 wrote a post about how she receives a lot wedding invitations, not based on popularity, but on marital status: the fact that she is single. She is invited so the kallah has people with a supposedly more flexible schedule and the kallah does not look like a social leper to her mother-in-law (that last line was mine).
In any case, I was talking to a friend of mine the other night (she’s happily single) and she wanted to know if she’s a terrible person. After assuring her that she was one of the world’s most amazing people and she is in the running with Mother Theresa for the most altruistic woman award (at least that’s what I say when they call for info) I inquired as to why she, a most self confident woman, needed the affirmation.
“Grademate SoandSo is getting married tonight, and I’m too lazy to trek out to Williamsburg and attend.”
“That doesn’t make you terrible, just lazy,” I informed her.
“Well truth be told,” she continued. “Y’know that post from Bad4 that single girls get more invitation, it’s true, SoandSo would have never invited me otherwise. I think the last time I spoke to her was your wedding. Were you invited by the way?”
“Nope, I wasn’t ,” I replied. “But if you were, then I should have been, I have a lot more to do with her than you, we’re at least friends on Facebook. But I wasn’t invited because I’m married and therefore not expected to attend an acquaintance’s wedding. “
“So I’m really just there to take up space.” She concluded
“Ahh,” I said. “So you’re really just preserving your self-dignity, that you will not just be a pretty single girl to fill up a hall. Also following this logic, she’s not going to attend your wedding, because she’s married now, and now in another “league” so now you kinda don’t have to go to hers if she wouldn’t even think of reciprocating.”
“Exactly my thought when I called,” my friend said. “I’m not going in protest to my pride in receiving an invitation, and your pride in not receiving one!”
“So then I repeat my original sentiments, you are not terrible, in fact you a champion of single’s rights and sensitivities,” I proclaimed.
“Will you tell that the shadchanim?”
“Then I’ll never get married.”
“Oh” [pause] “Can I blog about this?”
“Sure, you’re married.”