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Paternal Prediction revisited

Old School Graphic Design Tools

Today’s WordPress Prompt reminded me of this post I wrote 5 years ago – it’s as relevant as ever.

I hope I don’t turn out like my father.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my father.

Tonight we were doing an early spring-cleaning, just one closet. Out came the old coats, the worn out shoes, the broken kitchen appliances, and assorted memories.

There was a large leather portfolio that I dump unceremoniously on the side. It was just waiting to be placed in an organized allotted space. My father passed the wreckage that was the cleaning, and spotted the portfolio.

“My old stuff!” he said excitedly. He picked it up, cleared whatever was on the kitchen table with the sweep of his hand, laid down the portfolio and opened it.

Inside was my father’s old work. His work as a graphic artist, years before computers were standard. Where the artist actually had to be one, and not rely on the manipulations and clip art of present day (not minimizing today’s graphics artist, but it’s a completely different field with a different set of skill requirements).
He pulled out papers where he created an accountant’s sheets. He drew ALL the lines. Perfectly. He pulled out posters he created for concerts where all the elements where pasted on top of each other and then printed together. Brochures, where he drew the products, and the simulation of person trying it. He pulled out a yellowed New York Times, where an ad he created had ran. He pulled out several envelopes and letterheads in which logos he created graced. And then he just took out fun things that he drew with an advertisement theme. It wasn’t just, oh I put together the logo or I worked on it; he CREATED it.

“Ta,” I said. “You were amazing. What happened?” He just laughed and said something like,

“I’m so busy just printing now, I don’t have time to patchke on this stuff, besides, this is not how it runs anymore.”

“But, you’re so good!” I protested. He smiled for the compliment but sighed slightly.

“Maybe when I retire I’ll go back to it.” He said optimistically.

I always prided myself on having some artistic skill, I knew I got it from my father, and I’ve seen plenty of his personal work. But seeing today how he utilized his talents for business was successful and loved it, made me feel a bit inadequate in my dabbling in the arts.

But he’s not using it anymore. He loved it. He was great. But real life gets in the way.

I don’t want that to happen to my talents. I want to use them, for them to be me, not for me to tell my children years from now,

“Y’know I had blog when I was younger….”


Posted by on January 9, 2013 in Family, Musings


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State of the Union

WordPress sent me my end of year and I’m not posting it. I’m embarrassed of my stats, not that I blame them really. I don’t post often enough, and I totally ignore the first room of cultivating readers – responding to their comments – I’m just not good at it, I feel like I have nothing smart to say. And then I don’t market my blog by commenting on other blogs – same comment on comments – I don’t have anything intelligent to add.

I also feel like the Jewish Blogosphere has changed so much since I started blogging, or maybe it’s the same and I changed. In any case, it used to be this really cozy place where everyone commented on everyone’s posts, exchanged meme’s, linked to each other, had conversations that started in the comments and sometimes went off to e-mails. I feel like I knew those bloggers. But they’re all gone. I can’t remember the last time my Google Reader bolded their title alerting me to a new post.

Child Ish
Frum Punk
Jacob da Jew
Mike in Midwood
The Babysitter
Bas Melech
NMF #7

Material Maidel

The Frum Skeptic


and a bunch of others…


The only one’s still around are BadforShidduchim, and Princess Lea who went from the best commenter ever to the best blogger ever. (Had to give that shout out, she really is awesome, no?)

So my stats dwindled as did my posts, energy, and commitment.

My life changed, and I haven’t yet figured out how to write about some things without trespassing on other people’s privacy (namely my family). That severely limits my material.

And I’m busier, and a blog while fun, and a wonderful outlet for expression, is not a priority.

So many times I’ve wanted to just close it down – while I still have some grace and dignity, and readers. But I like my blog, and it’s just as much for me as it is for you. So I think it’ll stick around another year, as I hope will you.
Here’s to a new year (well, not really new, just Gregorian new) and more sporadic intelligence – if there ever was any.



Posted by on January 1, 2013 in Uncategorized


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An Almost Shameless Attempt

My article about my W108 featured on WordPress...

Two posts I read recently on Freshly Pressed, either begged to be featured, or bemoaned the fact that they would never be featured. So based on wonderful statistics, odds and averages (2 posts out of how many?) I’m going to try the same schtick.

Dear Freshly Pressed,
Please feature me. I’m not particularly talented, nor is this post particularly insightful. Nor is it witty, intriguing, fresh, provocative, or any other word associated with good writing. What it is, is desperate. I’m desperate for attention. So desperate, I’m actually admitting this, as my motive (not the ulterior one). Or maybe I’m just such a self-aware, evolved person that I will not lie to myself, or others.

All I’m looking for is for a buncha people to read my post, like it, and a bunch others to write so many comments, that I, the blogger herself, won’t have patience to read till the end, and will be severely deterred to comment back. (I always have this with Freshly Pressed posts, too many comments, and likes, that I don’t even bother with my own two cents – for people who’ve already been Freshly Pressed, take heart in that I’m sure that there are many others out there like me [I’m so self-aware, I can admit I’m not unique without crying] and you are probably owed a few more likes and comments).

Ok, I’m done whining, rambling, and otherwise looking like a desperate fool. Now it’s your turn people of Freshly Pressed, give me a self-esteem.

(And the only way I have the guts to post something as self-serving and pathos-evoking as this is my knowledge that this is an experiment. And of course to make sure you know that I’m not as self-centered, focused and attention seeking as I sound I have to put in this parenthetical disclaimer.)


Posted by on April 15, 2012 in Humor, Writing


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An Apology of Sorts

I used to read all blogs, anything Jewish related. I thought the blogosphere was fascinating, individuals with ideas a place to air them. It was like the largest most awesome underground newspaper. But then everyone and his mother-in-law had a blog, and they started getting stupid and very repetitive.

There are still plenty of blogs that I read, ones that have quality writing, and original thought.  I was looking through my Google reader list trying to figure out if there was a common thread between these blogs. I was able to divide them into two groups. There were the informational, yet subjective ones that are written in a more professional authoritative tone. I think I like that they aren’t just saying what they thinking, but supporting their statements with information, facts and statistics, feeds the random knowledge junkie in me.

And then there are the personal bogs. The ones who the blogger writes about his/her life, experiences, thoughts, epiphanies, growth, lamentation and all things human. I read them and wonder why my blog is so deficient , why is my blog lacking the honesty, the bare-it-all, the truth of human existence. Why is my blog only skin deep, wanting real depth?

I realized after a moment’s thought that it’s because they’re anonymous, and I’m not. Well, not all of you know who I am, but there are plenty of you out there who know me well, and this blog’s existence. I therefore don’t feel comfortable writing what I’m really thinking and experiencing. I’m afraid of being judged, ridiculed, misunderstood. I have to stand by what I write. There’s a responsibility, and ownership. I can’t just stand up on a soapbox, preach, and then shrink off into anonymous obscurity. I have to answer people. And most of the time, it’s just not worth saying anything.

There’s also the privacy factor. I can’t write about certain things in my life, because I would be violating people’s privacy. Other people would in a moment know who I was talking about, and either get the scoop from the blog, or call me for more details. I can’t do that to the people in my life, no matter how interesting (euphamism) they make my life sometimes.

So I’m sorry that you’re getting a very watered down version of me, but that’s how it has to be, unless I finally don’t care about what people think about me, or people stop questioning everything I write. Hope you stick around anyway, while I try finding something neutral to write about.


Posted by on November 20, 2011 in The Sporadic Side, Writing


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Behind the Blog

I know a few bloggers

Some I knew before, some I got to know, some I’m a bit creepy, and I figured out who they were, so well, I know them too, they just don’t necessarily know that I know it’s them when I read their blog, (I don’t do it on purpose, it just hits me and all the pieces click – this happened with at least three blogs!)

Regardless, it’s always more interesting to read the blog of someone you know. You know their background, the people in their life, their personalities. Very often you know the other side of the story, the personalities involved, and how a story or piece came to be.

There are times where I get upset, because I’m featured in blog post, and think I’m being misrepresented. Or other times, other people I know are being roasted, and I don’t think it’s validated. But most of the time, it’s just fun to get a glimpse into the lives and thoughts of people you know, but they would never share these tidbits with you regularly, because you just don’t have that relationship. Or my friends that know I have a blog, enjoy reading it, as a way of keeping in touch with me, because I don’t call or speak to anyone.

I any case, today, I cried, like really cried from a blog post. There is a blogger that I don’t know per se, but we have mutual acquaintances (my sister and her sister), for once I wish I didn’t know who she was. If I didn’t know who she was I could read her post today and think, “Oh, that’s really sad, some people have really difficult and sad aspects in their lives”. It would give me some perspective, I’d count my blessings and move on.

But I know these people. I know who this situation is affecting. I see if in front of me, when I talk to my sister, I can feel the manifestation. When I text her friend, I feel the tension. And I’m not counting my blessings today, I’m just crying, because it hurts and it’s scary, and the inevitable is approaching.

Sometimes, knowing too much isn’t a good thing.

1 Comment

Posted by on September 21, 2011 in Musings, Writing


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2010 in Review (automated title)


Image by CarbonNYC via Flickr

Ok, it seems we’re going to have to redefine pathos. I thought that this year was a miserable year in blogging. I neer posted and people never commented. People still popped on by for a visit, but nothing to write home about…I even went as so far as to apologize to my readers, and just last week made a resolution that I’d post every week in 2011, and then I get this, this year in review according to WordPress’s stats.

 If I’m doing “WOW”, then the average blog must post once a month, get two visitors a year and no comments…SO what do you think of the summary, forget about the stats, how do you, the reader think this blog is doing, what posts did you like, hate, not think twice about…

The stats helper monkeys at mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 9,700 times in 2010. That’s about 23 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 33 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 170 posts. There were 3 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 3mb.

The busiest day of the year was February 24th with 184 views. The most popular post that day was I’m Back, Where’s My Soapbox?.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were,,,, and

Some visitors came searching, mostly for fat is not a fairy tale analysis, fat is not a fairy tale, sporadic intelligence, fat is not a fairy tale poem analysis, and aquiline nose women.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


I’m Back, Where’s My Soapbox? February 2010


Fat is Not a Fairy Tale October 2008


Men vs. Women: The Last Degradation January 2009


For Sale: Wedding Gown March 2010


Intellectually Challenged March 2010

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Posted by on January 2, 2011 in The Sporadic Side


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Definition Pathos

overcoming writer's block - crumpled paper on ...

I haven’t posted yet in the month of December. I don’t have much to say (actually I do, but I think I may finally be growing up am understanding the concept of not saying [or writing] everything that I think). So while growing up is nice, it doesn’t help my blog much.

In states of desperation I signed up for Plinky, hoping their prompts would give me something neutral but interesting to write about. It fizzled as their prompts prompted me to just give one word answers. In any case, in a new state of desperation, guising itself as conviction and determination, I’ve signed up for wordpress’s dailypost. No, I will not be posting daily as the title suggests, but weekly. It’s my new year’s resolution, let’s see if this one will break the record in length sustained (I don’t think any of my other’s lasted more than a day).

The dailypost sight made me feel quite amateurish and a little slow. There are step by step instructions in how to sign up, and they even give the bloggers a sample post to let their readers know that they are participating,

Title: I’m Posting every day in 2011!

I’ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog once a day / once a week for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.


<Your Name Here>

I can’t poke too much fun since I do plan on partaking, and I do hope you’ll encourage me with comments (skip the likes, they are cop-out comments!) and good will along the way…

and if you can’t do that, you can always critique (insult) me, I’ll take that too, it’s entertaining 🙂

See ya around. 

(Real funny, just did a spell and grammar check, you wouldn’t belive how many issues the progran had with the little sample post … I just copied and pasted it and there were spelling errors!)


Posted by on December 30, 2010 in The Sporadic Side


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