Category Archives: Pregnancy

PSA: Don’t Be Jealous – Be Nice

Dear Other Pregnant Woman, and anyone who has ever been pregnant,

A lot of you are jealous of me. I wore a top today that is a Gap size small, and I’m due – soon. Yes, I appreciate carrying small, but many of you fail to realize that I still experience all of the discomforts of pregnancy – and some more, because of my “neat little package”.

Did it occur to you, that because my belly isn’t protruding as much as yours, that I could possibly be in more discomfort? My baby’s an average size – 7lbs, at least that what the doctor told me on Friday. A small belly, doesn’t mean small baby, it just means less space, ergo my internal organs are getting shmooshed. I am constantly digging legs out of my ribs, losing my breath, and running to the bathroom – even if I just exited it. I lose my balance because my baby seems to enjoy plucking at my leg’s nerves like it’s jamming session, and makes them give way randomly. (This is besides for the excessive heartburn, need to wear compression stockings, and other fun pregnancy side-effects)

Also, because I don’t look like I’m due for another trimester, people don’t treat me like a heavily pregnant woman – which I am. Nobody offers me a seat, or a drink. Nobody hesitates to ask things of me that require me to get up, bend, and well, be considerably active. Nobody thinks that insomnia, cockade baby sleep patterns have hit yet, so they call early, and late, without consideration.

People – I am VERY pregnant. I am in A LOT of discomfort. Please, be nice to me, and stop saying in sweet (but very obviously envious voices)

“But you’re carrying so small!”


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All About Timing

My friend had a baby last week, and I am so jealous of her. Besides for the obvious, that she’s over with it – the heartburn, insomnia, waddles and hormones (well, maybe not hormones), she was pregnant for a shorter time than me – me – who’s still pregnant.

No, she wasn’t early. In fact she was about 5 days overdue. What happened is that she didn’t find out she was pregnant until her first trimester was over. Do you get that – first trimester: nausea and exhaustion, flew right over her head. When I knew I was pregnant and anxious for about 2 months already, she was just visiting her doctor saying,’

“I dunno, I’m just not feeling all there…”

Do you get the envy now?

And I’m just sitting here waiting.


Posted by on June 12, 2012 in Pregnancy


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Boy Crazy


English: A sleeping male baby with his arm ext...

Image via Wikipedia

“Did you hear?” she asked her husband as he walked through the door.

“What?” he answered shaking snow off his shoes.

She held her phone to his face for him to see the text,

“She had a girl! Four girls now! In a row!”

He nodded, sarcastic smile playing on his lips,

“I heard. He text me,” And he held out his phone, indicating for her to read the text:

I had another girl…


Posted by on February 12, 2012 in Humor, Jewish, Pregnancy


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