Better Than

12 Jan

20140112_155544“Come sit with me Mommy,” he said. I didn’t want to; I wanted to read on the couch. But I felt guilty, as usual, so I sat down at the kitchen table to color with my son.

“Pick a color,” he told me. I chose a deep fading blue.

“Dark Blue!” he exclaimed; blue is his favorite color. I sat next to him; my arm jostled his; I’m a lefty, he a righty.

“Mommy!” he giggled. “Look what you did!” and showed me the errant mark on his paper. We sat side by side, elbow to elbow, he coloring, me writing with a deep fading blue and Benny Friedman playing in the not so distant background.

“The Mommy and Totty are going round the block,” he said as he drew wide circles and winding lines. He proffered his hands in my direction,

“Oiy, Mommy, look, look,” there were blue streaks on his palm and wrist. “Want my blue? He perked up suddenly. I declined and he frowned a moment.

“I’m gonna write on you paper,” he informed me. I raised my hand to block his marker descending dead-center on my page. He only nicked it.

“Ma! He exclaimed. “Ma!” I blocked him again. He retreated.

“Ma, Ma, look at my picture.” He pushed it towards me, covering my paper.

“Beautiful,” I said with dutiful enthusiasm, but there was no light behind my eyes.

Terrible, I know. But I was coloring side by side with him. Better than reading on the couch I told myself, better than reading on the couch.


Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Parenting, Writing


Tags: , , , ,

3 responses to “Better Than

  1. Chay

    January 12, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Ouch. The story of my life.

  2. Princess Lea

    January 13, 2014 at 12:20 pm

    I find it is necessary that, to some extent, children comprehend their place. While they can’t understand right now why you aren’t WOWing or OOHing every time they scribble, it wouldn’t be for sure be good if you did anyway.

    My mother never colored with me. I never noticed it. I’m the youngest; it didn’t even occur to me that my mother should color with me. Then again, I never expected her to play with me either. Why would she want to? She’s a grown-up!

    To be present and available is the most important. You don’t have to feel guilty that you aren’t enough, or that x would be better than y. Just the fact that you are there, and if he says something you will answer, is ideal.

    • TooYoungToTeach

      January 13, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      Thank you! You make me feel a little better. Still feeling guilty, but at least I know not everyone is thinking “haphhazard mom”.


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