if i could

14 Jan

a discussion in class about choices,



second chances,


and if you could do it over

would you?

should you?

could you?


said many students

they’d love

they’d want

they’d die



not sure

don’t think



wishing when it happened,

that it had gone differently.

that I said something else.

that some things didn’t happen at all.


those moments with the pause

of shame

of frustration

of desperation


smiles not meaning happiness

but, sarcasm,

but, grief

but isolation


people ask,

“Why do bad things happen to good people?”

“Only the good die young”

“She’s so sweet, but suffers so”


the unsatisfactory answer:

they can handle it

G-d loves them

it’s a test


i don’t know

if i’m a “good” person

if i “handled” it

if i’ve passed


i do know i’m here


just now

this moment


because of what

i’ve done,

didn’t do,

gone though,


all is

for better or worse,

the good with the bad

the joy in the sorrow


i am me,










and i kinda like me.

so no,

so sorry

so, whatever.


i choose

no reset

do over

groundhog day.

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Posted by on January 14, 2013 in Musings, Poems


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