Being RASHional

07 Aug

My eye became sore about a week ago. It got progressively worse, for a few days, until I could see some inflammation. It peaked two days later and the pain started to cede. The swelling through did not. It concentrated itself, and I have a red pointy bulge on my eyelid. I’m hiding behind glasses so people can still look me in the face (not eye, but really, it’s not that ugly).

The time I noticed it had transformed into a beautiful bump, coincided with the development of a lump in my throat. I went to sleep that night (last night) thinking I was dying. And of course in the process of dying they would have to remove part of my eyelid, and I’d be even freakier looking and that I should take professional pictures before the amputation so my children will know me a nice looking person, not an almost one-eyed mutant.

I assumed the worse; I always do.

If my kid gets a rash and I’m unsure of the source, it’s sure to be the early stages of necrotizing fasciitis. My husband complains of a stomach-ache, it’s definitely Crohn’s, or Celiac’s disease. The cause can never be a carpet burn from running and sliding, or simply gorging on pizza.

I never go to the doctor though, I just wait for rigor mortis to set in (I think there might be a rational side to my brain that knows the truth but allows my Drama Queen mind do its show, though not letting it take it to the next level [it’ll always be amateur night]).

Amazingly, I awoke this morning to slightly conventional looking eyelid. Things are fading back to normal, just a passing infection, just when I thought I had discovered the meaning of life, through contemplation of imminent death.

And I’m back to being lazy, drinking coffee, complaining about the mess in the kitchen, too much laundry, looking through too many sales on Zulily, and taking myself, my husband and children for granted.

We never learn do we?


Posted by on August 7, 2012 in Humor, Slice of Life


Tags: , , , , , , ,

5 responses to “Being RASHional

  1. Princess Lea

    August 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Totally the same here. I walked around for two years thinking I was dying, but it turns out I just have an oddly protruding bone. But I would never go to a doctor. Why would I go to a doctor for?

    To clarify, Celiac disease is much less problematic than Crohn’s. Celiac disease is that consumption of gluten interferes with absorption of nutrients, so one has to go gluten-free, which is not as difficult nowadays as it used to be. Crohn’s is an auto-immune condition, so one can’t really eat . . . anything.

    Assuming the worst keeps one prepared. It works for me.

    • TooYoungToTeach

      August 7, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      Exactly, why would you go to the doctor; complaining and mortal terror are much better alternatives!

      I know that Celiac’s disease is a lot less serious than Crohn’s I just thought of those two gastro-intestinal off hand, I wasn’t in the mood of googling something more ominous sounding. 🙂

      • Atara

        August 8, 2012 at 9:17 am

        Excuse me, I have Crohn’s and it’s not the horror that you make it seem! BH mine’s under control and I can pretty much eat anything. Making these manageable issues sound like nebach cases is what contributes to our crazy shidduch stigmas (which you are quite knowledgeable about, Ms. Lea! :))

  2. Princess Les

    August 8, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Don’t forget flesh eating bacteria!

    • TooYoungToTeach

      August 8, 2012 at 10:43 am

      Atara, your right, Crohn’s is a manageable condition, and not the end of the world, I know several people who have it who live very productive, and gustatory lives – however it’s still a medical condition that needs a doctor’s diagnosis and care; it’s not going away by itself, and therefore still qualifies as a condition I dread in this post.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: