Friendly Fire

12 Mar

We weren’t friends yet, but planned on being. It would just be convenient, our husbands were close friends, our kids, of the same age and gender, it seemed meant to be, we just had to get to know each other. One such opportunity rose by the out-of-town wedding of our husband’s close friend. Neither of us knew anyone else, so our conversing would save face for both us, and didn’t seem so contrived.

Neither of us were really comfortable dancing, we didn’t know anyone but the other, not even the bride. So we sat and watched, our babies on our laps gave us more validity to sit this one out.

I saw her eyes narrow, but not knowing her well enough, I felt it wasn’t my place to ask what was irking her, but she let me know though, taking me into her confidence,

“These girls are dancing so unrefined.” Lips pursed together, arms crossed. I hadn’t noticed, to be honest, it looked like a regular wedding to me. That didn’t seem the right thing to say, I wanted her to like me, for us to get along and understand each other, so I just sat there, and gave a slight nod – not of approval, but for her to continue.

“Girls would never dance like this in Lakewood, shrieking their heads off, waving their hands so high, and, I dunno, shaking their hips.”

Girls don’t know they have hips in Lakewood, I thought.

But now looking at the wedding from her Lakewood girl perspective, I guess she had a point. The girls were dancing very aggressively, lively, and I thought quite beautifully, the bride was happy, wasn’t that the point? But for Lakewood, yes, I suppose it was a bit unrefined. This wasn’t Lakewood though, and who said Lakewood is right in the first place.

I gave a slight nod again, and said,

“I hear.”

We moved on to more pressing topics like which socks actually stay on babies feet and are Target’s up & up diapers really that good. I thought we could still be friends; friends are entitled to their own opinion, right?
She called me up three days later. The Chosson and Kallah had eaten breakfast by me, and she was curious.

“How were they?” she asked.

“Really cute, y’know.”

There was pause on her end.

“Were they passing things?”

This was 5 exits past different opinions, and I knew then, she wouldn’t ever be more than a husband’s friend’s wife.


Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Humor, Jewish, Marriage, Weddings, Writing


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

9 responses to “Friendly Fire

  1. Fray

    March 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    WHOA! True story?

    • TooYoungToTeach

      March 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

      True story, didn’t happen to me though, but to a husband’s friend’s wife 😉 (and I heard about it through my husband)

  2. jen

    March 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm


  3. Princess Lea

    March 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm


    Keep on running.

  4. edna88

    March 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    wow! if she was a good friend still inappropriate to ask but can get over it. she’s not even remotely part of your groups of friends.
    pretty funny you heard about it from husband : )

  5. littleduckies

    December 26, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Oh. My. Gosh.

    Is it any of her business? So refined, isn’t she? First she comments on “untznius” dancing, not in front of men . . . and then she wants to know this?


    BTW, my DH says that Lakewood is “Lakewood ir hatumah”. Or, in my words, “Lakewood ir hakdeishim”.

  6. littleduckies

    December 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    BTW, how did you respond?

    • TooYoungToTeach

      December 27, 2012 at 11:27 pm

      Well, thank G-d this story didn’t happen to me, but my husband’s friend’s wife. My husband related the story to me, so I couldn’t ask all the questions I would have [if I heard it first hand], but the woman it happened too is a personality, I’m sure she had a snarky comment.

  7. littleduckies

    December 28, 2012 at 5:25 am

    Ah, okay. I thought it happened to you. 😉
    I’m glad she had a snarky comment, though – the woman who asked should have gotten it over the head for asking such a question. It’s really none of anyone’s business what they did or didn’t do and when.


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