My kid pooped in the tub today. I write that like it’s something new; it’s not. He seems to do it every time he takes a bath. The whole thing is perfectly planned, as the water is going down, near the end, he’ll start crouching and I know what’s coming.
And I have to clean and disinfect the whole bathtub because when I try to pick up the poop with a stack of tissues, it usually breaks apart and floats away in a million itty bitty pieces. I reek like Lysol, which I suppose is a better reek than others. Sometimes I wonder what I prefer.
If he did it before I gave him a bath, then, I have to wipe him down before the bath, dump him in the bath and clean him again.
If he did it after, then I basically cleaned him for nothing, and I have to wipe him down, change his diaper, the gantza gesheft.
If he does it when he currently does it, it’s a clean wipe, and even though I’m complaining about cleaning the bathtub, it’s actually easier than cleaning him (hint: the tub doesn’t resist or fight back)
I asked my mother in the classic “Would you rather…” form.
“Bathtub, just scoop it up in a cup and it’s done.”
Ahhhh, a cup, that’s genius, I am now happy with my lot.