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An Apology of Sorts

20 Nov

I used to read all blogs, anything Jewish related. I thought the blogosphere was fascinating, individuals with ideas a place to air them. It was like the largest most awesome underground newspaper. But then everyone and his mother-in-law had a blog, and they started getting stupid and very repetitive.

There are still plenty of blogs that I read, ones that have quality writing, and original thought.  I was looking through my Google reader list trying to figure out if there was a common thread between these blogs. I was able to divide them into two groups. There were the informational, yet subjective ones that are written in a more professional authoritative tone. I think I like that they aren’t just saying what they thinking, but supporting their statements with information, facts and statistics, feeds the random knowledge junkie in me.

And then there are the personal bogs. The ones who the blogger writes about his/her life, experiences, thoughts, epiphanies, growth, lamentation and all things human. I read them and wonder why my blog is so deficient , why is my blog lacking the honesty, the bare-it-all, the truth of human existence. Why is my blog only skin deep, wanting real depth?

I realized after a moment’s thought that it’s because they’re anonymous, and I’m not. Well, not all of you know who I am, but there are plenty of you out there who know me well, and this blog’s existence. I therefore don’t feel comfortable writing what I’m really thinking and experiencing. I’m afraid of being judged, ridiculed, misunderstood. I have to stand by what I write. There’s a responsibility, and ownership. I can’t just stand up on a soapbox, preach, and then shrink off into anonymous obscurity. I have to answer people. And most of the time, it’s just not worth saying anything.

There’s also the privacy factor. I can’t write about certain things in my life, because I would be violating people’s privacy. Other people would in a moment know who I was talking about, and either get the scoop from the blog, or call me for more details. I can’t do that to the people in my life, no matter how interesting (euphamism) they make my life sometimes.

So I’m sorry that you’re getting a very watered down version of me, but that’s how it has to be, unless I finally don’t care about what people think about me, or people stop questioning everything I write. Hope you stick around anyway, while I try finding something neutral to write about.

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6 Comments

Posted by on November 20, 2011 in The Sporadic Side, Writing

 

Tags: , , , ,

6 responses to “An Apology of Sorts

  1. Altie

    November 20, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    I disagree seeing as I am even less anonymous than you are and more open than you are. This topic has been beaten to death numerous times, the advantages and disadvantages of being anonymous. While I can agree to an extent that you are right in saying that if you are not anonymous than you must watch what you say. However, as a writer who frequently published my posts on Facebook for the enjoyment of my friends, I believe I am fairly open with my thoughts and feelings. That is not to say that I spill my darkest secrets and fears out in the open. But a frequenter of my blog would be able to create a pretty accurate picture of who I am and I like it that way.

    Hope you find inspiration and meaningful posts to write about.

     
  2. D

    November 21, 2011 at 6:51 am

    As an anonymous blogger, I agree. However, as someone who also writes in a magazine under her real name, I know that you can also be real without being uncomfortably personal. You just have to find your voice! And I do enjoy reading your blog as it is. Just write for you. Someone wise once said that he wrote for other people and no one read it, so he wrote for himself and everyone found it fascinating.

     
  3. Mystery Woman

    November 21, 2011 at 10:18 am

    You’re right about the anonymity. I blog anonymously, and when someone figured out who I am, I think my writing changed a bit, because I realized that anyone can figure me out and I won’t necessarily know about it. But I agree with D. You can still be real, without being too personal.

     
  4. Princess Lea

    December 5, 2011 at 10:44 am

    I make a point that as a blogger, despite the fact that I am anonymous, not to write anything that I would not put my real name to. And since my parents are telling everyone “fewnek fanak” (do you know that one?) that I have a blog, so I really have to practice that.

     
    • TooYoungToTeach

      December 5, 2011 at 1:06 pm

      I called my mother, who directed me to my grandparents, and all my Zeidy could tell me is that Fanak means tree, wood, and something’s wrong with the beginning, you should call him a let him know ;)…. so what does it mean?

       
  5. Princess Lea

    December 6, 2011 at 11:13 am

    In terms of telling something to the whole world: Fewnek Fanak is “every blade of grass and every tree.” Your Zeidy was spot on!

     

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