I have broken my resolution, but have I lost my resolve?
I was supposed to post once a week this year, and this past week I kept saying “tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow”. Yesterday was the last tomorrow and I forgot. And so my resolution has ended, the line has been broken. I lasted 2 months; I suppose that’s better than most New Year’s Resolution.
The thing is, I really want this. I really want to be consistent, to write something every week – even if some of it is pure drivel. I want the practice, the experimentation, the documentation, the elucidation. But I’m lazy. So lazy, I have to make a New Year’s Resolution to make time for something I love and very often live for.
So can I resolve the resolution? If I make up for it, can I deny the broken link? Tell myself, that the real week starts on Monday, or hypothetically if I was visiting my friend in Australia, then I’d have almost another day. You see, even if I get back on the wagon, I’ve failed. There’s gonna be that lack of “Oomph”, the “I’m doing it!, I’m achieving!” Instead I’ll be chasing to prove my actions, or lack of actions wrong. It’ll be my body chasing after my mind. And that’s just depressing, and maybe a little pathetic.
So is there any real atonement?
I hate New Year’s Resolutions.