Am I just that self-centered
I’m living my happily ever after. Married to man I love, we have the most beautiful child together, every morning I wake happy, and content.
I have a job I enjoy immensely and no major financial concerns. We’re all in good health, and have everything we need, and can even throw in a treat here and there.
But sometimes at night, I’m not as contented as when I woke up. I’m tired, there’s too much prepping, the baby is kvetchy, I’m not in the mood of washing dishes, my sister is annoying me, I stubbed my toe…the list goes on and every night there is probably one small thing that I have to complain about before the day is done.
But when I try to voice myself, the world stops me. Appreciate that you have a husband, a husband who you love, and he loves you. Appreciate that you have a child, do you know how many people are suffering from infertility?! Be happy that you have dishes to wash, do you know how many girls get married with nothing. Appreciate that you have a job; you know how many people are dying for your position. Appreciate that you have family who care about you, do you know how many people are in fights with their family, or don’t have….and on and, nullifying every complaint by the knowledge that someone has it worse. It’s “Children are starving in Africa” all over again.
I don’t know about you, but I never went for the guilt inspiration. Where being told a story of someone living in misery is supposed to make me a better person. Yes, I recognize that my life is good, and that I’m blessed, but sometimes I don’t have it all together, or mostly together, but not all the way. Why does my life have to be falling apart? Why do I have to be suffering from a heart-wrenching situation to be validated, to express and experience the full range of my emotions? What about me, being a regular person, living a good life, why can’t I suffer in my own small ways?
Or then again, am I that self-centered.