Monthly Archives: November 2010

My Top 10 Novels (and one play)

The first Captain Underpants book.

Image via Wikipedia

(that I can think of off-hand, there are more, and this is not a definitive list, it’s just a bunch of good books with a bad title meant to attract reader’s (your) attention. You wouldn’t read it that attentively if I titled it “Some Good Books”


  1. Pride and Prejudice – this is a single Jewish girl’s bible. It almost perfectly mirrors our shidduchim market, with crazy mothers, pathetic guys, elitists, requirements, inferiority, scandals, Elizabeth Bennet, and or course a happy ending (don’t all horror story end with “Don’t worry s/he got married”

Jane Austen also happens to write brilliant prose.


  1. Last Days of Summer – My favorite book ever. If you want to laugh your kishkes out, as well as bawl your eyes, this book is the best. It’s written in a series of letters between the different characters. Joey, a 10 year old in desperate need of a father figure, Charles Bank, world famous baseball player, in need of maturity, Hazel, his girlfriend, FDR, who Joey gives National Defense advise to, The Rabbi, who just wants Joey to have a Bar Mitzvah, and Aunt Carrie, who thinks all goyim are going to hell. You just can’t bring it into the bathroom because it has a section of Parshas Noach in it, Hashem’s name included (I learned this the hard way)
  2. Harry Potter Series – it’s Harry Potter. I don’t have to review it, cause I’m sure you’ve read it, and if you haven’t don’t publicize your ignorance.
  3. Importance of Being Earnest – THE BEST LINES EVER!!! If you ever want to sound really witty, steal a line from this play and instant brilliance will become you. Plot is retarded, characters even crazy, but the things that come out of their mouth, are golden. And it’s about shidduchim…so girls (and guys) pick up some pointers for the more unconventional people in your life.
  4. Captain Underpants series – never underestimate the power of juvenile humor. Complete with farts, wedgies, and superpowers, Captain Underpants is the best book for the sophomoric junky in all of us.
  5. A Connecticut Yankee in King Author’s Court – you’ve all seen the corny kid movies, and read bad clichéd accounts…this is the book that made the cliché and it will amaze you. Mark Twain wit, humor and intelligence, come together in this masterpiece challenging, mocking and encouraging people’s logical stupidity.
  6. Rebbeca – any book that can get you praying a cold murderer to get away with his deed has got to make every top ten. It’s written in a brilliant perspective that gets you so twisted in a bunch you’re not sure what to believe, hope for, expect or want to happen.
  7. The Chosen and The Promise – Chaim Potok’s been banned, and I suppose with good reason, because these books can definitely mess with your head. But if you know where you stand, excellent books, great characters, plot, conflict and thought.
  8. Princess Diaries – I can’t stand 3/4 ‘s of the characters, but there’s something so charming and retarded in everything about it, that I love it. The perspective, the lists, the modern day fairy tale gone wrong…fun stuff
  9. Count of Monte Cristo – If you don’t read the full 1000 page version you’re cheating yourself. Brilliantly written, plotted, intense characters, awesome action, the best revenge, and no happy ever after.

Posted by on November 18, 2010 in The Sporadic Side


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Made in Heaven

They had nothing to say to each other.

They sat there awkwardly across from one another.

He shifted his weight; she sat straighter.

They had covered high schools, seminary, Israel, and camp.

He finished his soda; she sipped at her water.

They were both nice, fine, came from good families, and wanted the same things.

He said ummm; she leaned forward expectantly.

They covered family, yichus, music and food.

He sat straighter; she shifted her weight.

They had nothing to say to each other.


Posted by on November 2, 2010 in Shidduchim, Writing


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