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Defining the Moments

24 Jan

People say there are defining moments in life. Moments that lay it out; the path of your life, for better or worse. I always wondered what would be. Would I miss it?

But now I don’t think there are defining moments, maybe in retrospect there are, but in the moment, these moments don’t exist, because you always think there’ll be a next time to make up for what you’re doing now, or screw up whatever courage you have now.

Yehuda told me he tried marijuana, and that Ma and Ta know about it. I was ironing a shirt for him when he told me. I burned a corner, I don’t think he’ll notice.

“Wanna try?” he offered. I darted a glance at him and gave a quick “No.”, even though it was total yes. Yes, out of curiosity and experience, not the rebellion, but no, because no one else would see it that way.

No one sees anything my way. No one gets why I ask questions that they can’t answer, no one gets why I care in the first place. They say I’m challenging, I think I’m just a kid. Yehuda says it’s all crap. The whole things a farce, and that I know it too, I just don’t have the courage to admit it.

I don’t know what I think, but looking back, saying no then, was a defining moment for me.

I wrote this a really long time ago as a start of a supposed book that never came in being (like most brilliant ideas). Not sure what I’m going to do with it, but I kinda like what I wrote about defining moments. Whaddya think?

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3 Comments

Posted by on January 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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3 responses to “Defining the Moments

  1. corner point

    January 24, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    I do think that there have been defining moments for me in my life that I did realize at that point.

    They’re kind of weird–sometimes they feel a tad out-of-body. Like those times when it’s as if there really IS a lightbulb that goes off on top of your head…because suddenly the things around you have this sharp quality you never realized before.

    The moment you realize something you never realized…that changes your perspective on your world as you knew it…
    The moment you make that crazy (or deliberate) choice that changes the course of your life…
    The small moment you say that thing you know you should say but hate to…and then you do… and you know you did the right thing…

    I hear what you’re saying about sometimes “missing” those moments and only realizing them in hindsight. But don’t you ever have those moments that are so clearly…defining?

     
  2. harryer-than-them-all

    January 24, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    I once heard a quote “Fighter pilots have to make the right decisions without thinking about them. There are two types of people; fighter pilots and non-fighter pilots”
    (that was the first thing that came to my mind when I read your excerpt)

    Maybe that the ability to make the right decision, and then analyze it later why you were right, is the key to good decisions. The ability to recognize a moment, be defined by it, and shape your life-view is important to being human. If one hears about a tragedy, you are supposed to be rattled and change. If you experience something difficult, it is supposed to help define you. Not in a permanent sense, but maybe slight shifts in direction. A friend of mine learned he was adopted when he was a teenager. It did change his world, but he didn’t define himself as adopted. Its part of him, but by no means a definition.

     
  3. jennifer

    January 26, 2010 at 4:52 am

    uh oh – you’re winning.
    i didn’t get that far!

    miss you!

     

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