Monthly Archives: October 2009

Blogger Meets World

I just read BOSD and BadFor’s post on CornerPoints wedding. I wasn’t invited. Don’t worry, I’m not insulted, and I wasn’t expecting an invitation.( btw, CornerPoint, I know who you are, and you’ve definitely heard of me, we even met at a mutual friend’s wedding, and will probably meet again at another mutual friend’s wedding who’s vort was a night before your wedding). What this really brought up for me was where does blogging and real world meet?

Blogging is great for anonymity. A blogger gets to say what they want completely uncensored because they are hiding behind an ambiguous username. People know I have a blog, if you read my blog, and do some research you can figure out who I am, so I don’t have anonymity. I censor myself tremendously when I write,  so what do I get out of having a blog?

Well for me, it’s more of a writing experiment, seeing if I can take some of the million and half random thoughts floating around my head at any given moment and making something from (barely) nothing. I also love the comments, how people respond to my writing, and perspective.

It’s also an outlet, of something do when I’m bored. It’s just a little more productive than watching YouTube clips of babies giggling.

But back to the comments…I like them, a lot. And I am insatiably curious about the people behind them…most of them have their own blogs, which are usually either random rambling, or rapid rhetoric. They have their own thoughts, ideas, perspectives. And truth be told, any ultra-orthodox person who has a blog is not the norm. They have broken the mold, and are covertly flaunting their independence. They too hide behind perky posts, and unusual usernames (I don’t know what’s up with the alliteration here, but it’s staying).

I’m curious about meeting them, and talking to them. At the same time, I’m kinda private and shy around new people, so I dont know if I’d have much to offer them in return.

I’ve had a long e-mail correspondence with Princess Lea. She almost came to my wedding, but had a previous engagement. (Princess, I know I didn’t respond, I read your e-mail during sheva brachos and said “ha, of course I’ll reply before September”…but life happens…and I still plan on responding)

I almost met Moshe at a mutual acquaintance’s wedding (well, really close friend for me, and someone who davens in his shul for him), but his wife gave birth a few days earlier and he had more pressing responsibilities.

I lamented over the lost opportunities.

I have great close friends, and I recently acquired a best one, my husband. I’m not lacking in relationships that I so desperately need to know the bloggers…but there’s something just intriguing about them (you)…does anyone share perspective, or are all the other bloggers content with conversing in the comments?


Posted by on October 24, 2009 in Jewish


Husband Hashpa’ah #2

It’s terrible, since I’ve written the last post, I’ve allowed myself to speak a much more yeshivishe sprach than before. It’s like now that I’ve let the world know that I’m making fun of it, I can say whatever I want.

In any case, here’s Part 2

Part 3 after Yomtov!

Feste – She was wearing Feste shoes, Christian Louboutin, cost an arm and a leg

Yur n’Tzerik – Yur n’Tzerik I’d call her, now I’ll just text her mazal tov.

Musig – The play was so boring, and clichéd, you have no musig of the pathos evoked.

Shtulz – Uch, their so shtulzy, with their kids in Lily matching underwear, I’m not even trying.

Not chal – Don’t show till after ten. It’s not chal until Mrs. K, opens up her mouth.

Matziv – It’s so not a matziv, for G-d’s sake it’s a funeral

Mistama – Mistama she’s not gonna wanna come, do I still have to invite her

Chevtza – She’s a chevtza. Of what? Of garbage.

Spitz – It’s shpitz her to say that and not even realize what she said

Kav – It’s not your kav, I don’t think you should buy it.

Zach – He has this zach about sports, don’t even go there.

Not shayach – You havta read it, it’s not shayach!

Mehalech– she wanted to leave after the chuppa; I told her it wasn’t a mehalech

Sharf – And then she called her stupid, ooh it was “sharf”

Masbir – What I don’t get it, you sign up, you get the discount and then you cancel? And they don’t chap? You have to be masbir to me

Nogea – I get paid on the books, make to much money; WIC is not nogea

How many did you know on this list?!


Posted by on October 9, 2009 in Jewish, Marriage


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Husband Hashpa’ah #1

Ever since I’ve gotten married, I expanded my vocabulary. This is of course encouraged by all educators, as it broadens the mind and enables a person to communicate more accurately and effectively. It’s also a great way to look smart and intimidate people when need be. However, I’m not sure my newly acquired lexis, will garner me much fear and respect. You see, I’ve learned to speak yeshivish, courtesy of my husband.

I’m sure you understand that there are several levels in increasing one’s vocabulary: there is recognizing the word while reading, using the word in writing and last using the word in your own speech.

It’s not just that my husband uses these words and I understand him. But even further, I’ve found these words creeping into conversations with my friends, who are, well, far from yeshivish. I’m finding it mildly amusing, but mostly bemusing as I feel my IQ dropping by the idiom.

I compiled several examples of my lapses in to “yeshivish” for your entertainment….I’m too self depreciating, I know 🙂

Maskim – I’m not Maskim to that style, navy and black does not match

Chutsh – He said no, after 6 dates? Did he chutsh give a decent reason

Lmaaysa – She thought she was going to BJJ, then she figured Bnos Sarah, l’maaysa, she’s in Machon Half Day and Touro

Ein hechi nami – I’m not, not going with you, ein hachen ami, I’m just not coming, I don’t feel well

Lechoyra – She seems like a nice girl, Lechoyra, but honestly, I don’t really know her

Epes – It has epes a design on the skirt, real nice.

Be’eztem – It’s a nice idea to buy a 16 piece serving set by Noritake, but be’etzem I don’t think it’s gonna work out, kollel budget, remember?

B’kiztur – ….she told her that she didn’t mean that, but she thought that she said she did and around and around, whatever, b’kitzur, they’re not talking

Ch’kav – ooooh, that salad bowl is ch’kav…I like those details, don’t think I’ve ever seen that combination anywhere

Mudne – she said that? Really? That’s mudne, why would they do that?

Shvacha meysos – She said she worked on it for hours, look at it, shvacha meysos, she dumped it together in five minutes

Uber – I wanted to buy that ring, uber I knew my Rabbi was getting me something for yomtov so I just waited

Raya – Ye….can you tell me about Chanche Bronche? She’s very hardworking…ye, and creative….can you give me a raya?

Klering – I’m going to my in-laws for the first days; we were klering on going the second days, but I have to be back for work

Dveilah – I’m looking for a job, dveilah, I’m brushing up on my culinary skills.

UpShlug (shlug someone up) – The salesperson tried giving me a million and half stupid reasons why it looked great on me, and that I should buy it, but I had no patience and she was making me nervous, so I shlugged her up on every point….ooh it felt good…Good thing I don’t shop there that often

Zicher – He’s zicher gonna want to come home, so I’ll have to cook supper anyway

Ten points for you if you can define each word I used. Have fun in the comments!

Part 2 in 2 days.


Posted by on October 7, 2009 in Jewish, Marriage


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