Monthly Archives: March 2009

The Runaway Bride

I have disappeared. I will acknowledge that.


 I don’t post on my blog

Respond to emails

Call my friends back

Return my students quizzes the next day

Do basic chores


I don’t exist or function as a human being.


My friends call me a Blissed-Out Bride.


I’ve turned into the worst cliché.


Now I’m not here to excuse myself, but rather explain.


I think I’m functioning.

I think I’m responding

I think I’m being responsible

I think I’m still all here.


But looking at my performance of the last month objectively…I’m not.


The thing is I THINK I am.


It’s not intentional. I want to do all the things I’m supposed to do; I mean to do it. I really mean to write, to call you back, but the time just disappears and I didn’t do anything, but space out.


It’s the weirdest phenomena.


And even weirder is how not me this whole thing is. I’m not the googly-eyed, gushing, glowing, giggly type. I’m the analytical, unemotional, detached, logical type.


My behavior goes against all my principles.


And it’s a great thing.


My apologies again. J











Posted by on March 31, 2009 in Weddings


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Why You Should Get Engaged, Reason #23

I recommend engagement to everyone.


Not for the blissful utopia that it is.


Where the entire world seems to fade away, have no significance and you seem to float along with a lingering smile.


Where you are the center and the world just revolves.


Where there is purpose to Monday and Wednesday and Friday, and any other day he chooses to surprise me.


Where the sun shines even when it doesn’t, and you get away with vague answers like, “Ummm…..”

No, get engaged because it will reveal all your social insecurities, and then trounce them!

I went to a close friend’s wedding last night. Now I don’t generally consider myself to be that inhibited,

I laugh heartily,

say what I mean,

run down Boro Park streets,

sing along to the music in stores you get my drift…

And last night I broke free. I have never danced at a wedding like I danced last night.

My friend (the Kallah) wanted to know when I turned so ________. I told her I got engaged.

I did whatever I wanted, disregarded the hierarchy of the circles (family first, then cousins, then friends, then acquaintances that have to show their face)

My other friends kept telling me to behave, but I didn’t have to, Hello, I’m engaged…it doesn’t make a difference who looks at me. They were secretly jealous that they couldn’t let go…well not really secretly, it was pretty open.

Another friend warned me to watch myself because the creepy mustachio wearing video dude couldn’t stop following me…and the camera guy got in several shots himself.

A friend of a friend who is a professional dancer couldn’t stop commenting at my skill.

And random strangers came over to tell me, how it was beautiful how I was misameach the Kallah.

I could have never done that had I not been engaged. Yes, I would have had a lot of fun at the wedding. I would have danced my heart out, because she’s my friend and I want to make her happy on her wedding day…but with inhibition, I’d have stopped and started, letting go and then holding back. I’d have been glancing around surreptitiously wondering who has potentially looking at me, what are they thinking, how much to I have to watch myself if I want to get married…

I know a lot of you out there are going, “Who cares what people think, do what you want!”…but you’re reading my blog, and blogs aren’t standard reading material for the Jewish population at large, so you’re off this bell curve in terms of standard deviation…

So yeah, get engaged. It’s so liberating…until the wedding, that is.


Posted by on March 24, 2009 in Weddings


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I’ll Drink To That

A Freilichin Peedim Everyone!!!

My chosson, he really doesn’t like drinking, not even a shot Friday night between the fish and meat. I’m busy pouring shots for everyone (myself included) and he politely declined.

So, I thought he was just a bit interesting, retarded, and backwards when he said that even though he “zicher” doesn’t like drinking, “epes” on Purim, he’s “maskim” to get drunk.

He loves the feeling of being drunk, but hates the process it takes to get there. It’s a mitzvah on Purim, so the benefits outweigh the costs.

I’ve since learned to appreciate the mindset when I put on my rose-colored metaphor glasses.

There are just some things in life worth going through hell for it’s end result…shidduchim…childbirth…college…braces…awkward teenage years…an enemy, so you have an opportunity for the perfect comeback…and in my chosson’s case the high of intoxication…

To each his own.


Posted by on March 10, 2009 in Uncategorized


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“OMG OMG” Shriek Shriek

Hi….so..ummm…yeah…what’s doing….yeah…ummm….so…I guess I should just…yeah…let me just say it… weird….and…well..surreal…but…

I’m ENGAGED!!! (to be married)

Whew….ye, me, TooYoungToTeach….I’m not sure how to react myself.

(awkward, spaced out, far off, goofy smile, plastered across face)

You can start shrieking (looking at watch)…NOW! 

Disregard anything I ever said about marriage. =)


Posted by on March 1, 2009 in Uncategorized


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