Kusher Kusher Kusher

16 Jan

I am brilliant. Just so you know.


My father is a bit machmir on things, like girl’s tznius and kasharus.


For tznius, I’m talking about activities: we don’t go to concerts, go biking, ice skating and rollerblading.


Kasharus, we don’t eat most meats or lettuce.


I’m going to my sister for Shabbos and Florida next week.


I was speaking to my sister, and she asked that if she said “kusher kusher kusher” over her meat, will I eat it?


I said no. Then she asked what are you doing in Florida. I told her I was considering going biking.


“But Totty doesn’t let,” she said.


“He doesn’t have to know,” I said.


“Oookay,” she finished and we hung up.


Her husband called me two minutes later.


“I don’t get you,” he said. “You listen to your father and don’t eat my meat, but you’ll ignore your father and go biking. Do you listen to him or not, because you can eat my meat with the same rationale.”


He was right, but I wasn’t going to admit that, so I gave him some cockamamie rationale that I don’t know diddly-squat about kashrus and can’t make and informed decision on it, so I defer it to my father and follow what he says. Tznius, I can form my own educated decision and deemed biking ok. My brother-in-law shot kibbud av v’em at me, and told me.


“TooYoungToTeach(roonie), If you go bike riding you have to eat my meat, and if you don’t eat my meat you can’t come for Shabbos.”


“I’ll call you back,” I responded lamely.


My conscience bothered me, because I knew he was right, but I still wanted to go biking, and I wasn’t going to eat his meat!

What to do?!


DING!! (that was a stroke of brilliance in case you didn’t realize)


If I could get my father to make allowances and let me go biking then I wouldn’t be violating his wishes when I did, and could therefore not eat my sister’s meat in good conscience.


So I called my father, dreid him a kupp, demanding an answer right away, and because my father loves me, and knows me too well, conceded and said,

“But only if you do it in the most tzniudike manner” Like so:


So I gaily called my sister and brother-in-law back, that I would in fact be coming for Shabbos on his terms, but I still won’t eat the meat…Told you I’m brilliant.


Just as a side note, after all that intense coercion, I texted my friend that I’m going to Florida with.


[So, do you bike?]


[No no no,  at least not very well, very badly…no cliffs or highway. I’ll do anything else; I tell you!]


and then I remembered she had only learned to ride a bike in the past year.


So much brain energy wasted on nothing, I could have cured the common cold.


Posted by on January 16, 2009 in Jewish


Tags: , , , , , ,

17 responses to “Kusher Kusher Kusher

  1. dreamer

    January 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    you look beautiful in that pic.

  2. dreamer

    January 16, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    oh, by the way, you wrote “in good conscious.”

    don’t think that’s the word you meant to use.

  3. monkey lover

    January 16, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    lol thats funny…………i like your brother in law………you are a hypocrite though cause u do know u shouldnt be biking, or atleast eat his meat if your not listening to your father anyway….

  4. halfshared

    January 16, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Lol, that’s quite funny. And yeah, you’re a brilliant hypocrite.

  5. EsPes

    January 16, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    wowwww u guys are super frum! 🙂
    i never heard of no ice skating!

  6. Grumpy

    January 16, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    Where on earth did you get that picture?

  7. Moshe

    January 18, 2009 at 4:30 am

    What wrong with those activities? How are they not tznius if you’re in a skirt?

  8. Moshe

    January 18, 2009 at 4:36 am

    One of my friends married a hassidish guy. I invited them for shabbat and bought KAJ and kriyat yoeli meat, cooked in same pots. They came and ate.

    What meat do you eat and what would your father say to that?

    What if your husband is not as machmir, what would you do? I know someone whose father in law is machmir and the wife is forcing the same on him. I told him what she’s doing is outright against halocha.

  9. tooyoungtoteach

    January 18, 2009 at 5:03 am

    Well Moshe, Skirts tend to go up a bit when you bike and if you’re biking against the wind they fly up…Junee and Biz skirts avoid this problem though.

    Sorry, but your chassisdishe friend is just doing lip service to kashrus, and inconviencing you, if he had no problem eating from the same pots…then again, if he just held his was better, and your’s still kosher then it’s ok (I forget what the jewish words are to explain this)…

    If my husband was not as machmir, I’d follow my husband…but then again I’m buying the meat, so I could really buy in whatever realm my husband lets, but I’d be following my husbands minhag in any case.

  10. EndOfWorld

    January 18, 2009 at 6:58 am

    nicely written….:o) If I ever invite you over to my place, I’ll be sure to serve milchigs…

  11. Something Different

    January 18, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    If I don’t Ice Skate cuz I don’t like to, can I still call myself super frum? 😉

  12. tooyoungtoteach

    January 18, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    You can call yourself super frum, but we’ll know the truth…If I’m feeling nice I won’t blackmail you to the shadchan.

  13. BT Slowly

    January 18, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    I think it’s hypocratic to decide on what we listen our parent/rabbeim on and what we decide ourselves. This is where many our problems begin these days and this is where assimilation starts – from choosing.
    More than that I think it’s offending to tell such things to a person in the face.

  14. tooyoungtoteach

    January 18, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    You’re right, it is hypocritical. It’s very easy to rationalize the whole situation though, and when my hypocrisy was glaringly pointed out to me, I was uncomfortable with it, so I tried to amend the circumstances…it worked. Granted, it’s not the best or most appropriate approach, but that’s life in a way.

    In any case, I’m not going biking

  15. Something Different

    January 19, 2009 at 8:24 am

    ’tis ok! Blackmail away….I aint in shidduchim yet and won’t be for a while…. 😉

  16. BT Slowly

    January 19, 2009 at 8:50 am

    I know, it’s easy to judge on something that have happened already. Much easier than when it happens right now and right here. I think these situations are just another lessons for us given in this way.

    I’d say that since your father have allowed you to do so you should go biking because it’s healthy and fun. Especially if that will happen in a place where no people around and everything is tzniusdik.

  17. BT Slowly

    January 19, 2009 at 8:52 am

    I should add that I saw many times girls in looong skirts biking around Flatbush and I can’t say there was something looking non-tznius.


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