College Co-dependence

25 Dec

I knew there was a downside to graduating; I just didn’t think it would come to bite me so fast. I no longer have the greatest excuse ever,


“I’m sorry I can’t, I have work for college.” 


This works on everything. People don’t excuse work “work”. They’ll say you’re working too hard for nothing.


But college, it’s a noble thing to further your education and advance your knowledge and opportunities. Working hard and being dedicated to college is very admirable. And I took full advantage of society’s perception in this area. Whenever someone proposed something that I didn’t want to do, but didn’t want to seem mean, I just blamed it on college, whether I had stuff to do or not.


Tonight my mother asked me to come shopping with her…and while I didn’t go…I couldn’t use my safe excuse, I had to just be an inadequate daughter and say. No.


Aside: I hate going grocery shopping with my mother. I’m a list person; she’s a mosey-down-the-aisle-and-see-what-strikes-her-fancy type. It doesn’t really work and tests my kibud em tremendously, so I try to avoid the situation as much as possible.


See, I haven’t used the word no to express my desire to not do something in four years. I always used “college work” and everyone backed off. I was mature, and responsible, not selfish and lazy.


Those days are gone, so you might see be being a better person by default rather than conscious choice.


Posted by on December 25, 2008 in Uncategorized


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11 responses to “College Co-dependence

  1. Mikeinmidwood

    December 25, 2008 at 7:07 am

    So the only sensible thing to do is get married, have children and blame everything on the child.

  2. Child Ish Behavior

    December 25, 2008 at 7:17 am

    Or you could go back to school and get yet another degree.

  3. tooyoungtoteach

    December 25, 2008 at 7:24 am

    I think going back to school is the more practical and foreseeable option…


    December 25, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    so marriage and kids rnt pulling u yet????

  5. tooyoungtoteach

    December 25, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    No, it’s pulling me, but it just doesn’t seem to be happening.

    I have more control over when and if I go back to school than when I get married and have a child…therefore school is once again the more practical and forseeable option.

  6. The Jewish Side

    December 26, 2008 at 12:58 am

    Ok, I know I haven’t commented in a while, and I plan on catching up on it! Now that I’m on vacation it will be fun. I will get back to the post after. I just wanted to let you know that I tagged you Here!

  7. EndOfWorld

    December 26, 2008 at 5:27 am

    well…maybe the school will offer a PHD program…snicker….(just the image makes me fall off my chair laughing)

  8. The Jewish Side

    December 26, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Very interesting idea!
    (Now I see what you mean when you said that you share it for a purpose, so I looked out for the “purpose” and I found it, put’s more meaning to it!)

    But I have the same thing, I can no longer say “I have to study” cause no I’m on vacation. So when a mother called me up to ask me to babysit, now that I’m done with finals. I felt really bad saying “no” because now I didn’t have the college excuse. I tried to explain that I stopped babysitting altogether. She was nice about it, but I could tell that she felt let down.

    And about the shopping, untill I started using a cookbook, I was never able to make a list of what I wanted, I had to go through the aisles and check. Kinda like me theory on shidduchim, I can’t tell you what I’m looking for, but if I see it then I’ll know. It’s like that with everything, I like choices to choose from, rather than having to try to think of an answer. But now that I started using a cookbook and actually making stuff, it’s easy to make a list, cause it comes straight out of there.

  9. Rafi

    January 5, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    …and they certainly won’t take “I’m busy with my talent/hobby” as an excuse (with reference to your “paternal predictions” post). Now what if studying is your hobby? Maybe I should try that one…

  10. shapeofagirl

    January 5, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    It’s better to be honest about not wanting to do something than use an excuse like school-work. Especially if it’s someone like your mother. I think the closer you are to someone, the more you owe it to them to be honest.

  11. tooyoungtoteach

    January 5, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    Shatofagirl: In a world where everything was was right, you would be right. However the world in not such and my mother would rather hear I have school work than I am blowing her off…likewise with most friends. It spares peoples feelings and does no harm.

    I am firm believer in white lying for “shalom bayis”


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