Proselytizing Productions

21 Dec

My schools production was tonight. It was actually quite cute, tons of great musical numbers taken straight from the best of Broadway…


…so let’s break it down…


Choir – the choirs were gorgeous, had great interesting harmonies, the soloist were good, except for one kid who obviously took voice lessons but hadn’t mastered the art yet as she tried to infuse her singing with a forced and lousy vibrato. Ouch. Also, don’t tell the kids in the second row that NO ONE could see them, and they were basically disembodied voices.


Song Dance – Well the fancy lady one, the ones that looked good were wearing my clothes, everyone else unearthed their costumes from their great aunt’s closet. The whole thing was really impressive…


*We interrupt this program to bring you an important message*


Ok children, today we are going to learn how to behave in public areas, particularly places of the arts….


Rule number 1: SHUT UP


Rule number 3: STAY IN YOUR SEAT

Rule number 4: REALLY SHUT UP


That was a brief message from my sister who had a considerably worse time and seat than I….I experienced none of that tonight, and now return to our scheduled critique.


Dance: If the girls weren’t so inhibited and terrified that they be branded with a scarlet A for actually dancing, they would have been fabulous (barring the Michael Jackson Thriller moves). That said; they were uninspired. MOVE your hips!!!


Acting: Was good. Most of them at least. There was excellent ad-libbing when lines were forgotten…it was an interesting combination when the wife’s voice was on a considerably lower pitch than her husband’s…and when someone almost said prostitute instead of proselytize (that actually didn’t even almost happen, would have been funny if it did). And then I got to bear witness to the ugliest wedding gown known to mankind. Where did they pick that up!?!


Moral: I left with a warm and fuzzy feeling toward my Jewish heritage…awww, let’s go mark papers and be nice about it.


I wish I had funnier and snarkier  things to say on the subject, but they really did a decent job. And sitting there I felt like a proud Mama. GO MY STUDENTS!!!


Posted by on December 21, 2008 in Jewish, Teaching, Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Proselytizing Productions

  1. EndOfWorld

    December 22, 2008 at 4:10 am

    hehe. good analyzation. we always suspected that choir was more of a prop than of a scene, especially when the songs were prerecorded…thanks for confirming it

  2. daughtersintheparsha

    December 22, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    OMG (Which my kids think is terrible that I say that, but too bad). Have you been hiding in my kitchen as I rant and rave about the performances in the Bais Yaakovs? I will blog about this soon, but I agree. The dances, for me, are the saddest to watch. Here we have girls who enjoy dance and who might actually be good at it, but are given the most ungraceful moves and hideous costumes (does your school also insist on girl pants, made to order, with the crotch by the knee?) and if there is a girl who has real dancing ability, she is told to tone it down. How awful. Defeats the whole purpose of concert/performance/production (whatever your school calls it) being a chance for girls to express themselves.

  3. tooyoungtoteach

    December 22, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    You got the pants down to a science. They call them pantaloons, or something like that. Also any male in the play had to wear sweaters or blazers that hit around their calves so you won’t know that they had two legs.

  4. daughters in the parsha

    December 24, 2008 at 7:47 am

    Ha! and the hat doesn’t fit because the main male character is always the girl in school with the longest, thickest hair, usually which unravels in the middle of the play.
    I think all plays should have no men in it. Their dialogue is usually inane or boring, and you are so right about the clothes: pants which are skirts sewn shut at the knee, and blazers that are so long, dingy hats that cover the face, and usually, conversation which amounts to “yes, no, grunt, aha, uhu, maybe, grada, I’ll ask the rebbi”

  5. The Jewish Side

    December 26, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    It’s great how you take pride in your students.
    I remember going to a chinese auction where they had dancers, and I was so impressed by how “out there” they were, and I felt inside that perhaps it wasn’t tznius, but I loved it. Then there’s this video where they had a guest dancer, who wore a short sheitel and pants under a skirt, and she had such a frum Jewish look to her, that when she started dancing these crazy moves, it just looked so strange, like it didn’t belong to that kinda of look. If the lady would have wore a long flowing sheitel and looked more modern looking it would have matched better.

    Our school used those pants too, they were called….I forgot, but the bubble skirts remind me of them, so I was never able to put one on, cause I keep being reminded of those “pants”.

    We actually had one year where there was no man role in the play. But it felt like something was missing.


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