Definitive Drinker

16 Dec

I’m turning 21 in less than 2 weeks


Yay, Happy Birthday to me, blah blah blah, you couldn’t care less.


So I was talking to my friend (whose 21st b-day is a few days after mine) and was lamenting the fact that 21 is considered this big official number and we can DRINK in the non-Jewish realm, but really who cares because being Jewish I drink at least twice a week on Shabbos between the fish and meat. Never mind there being Kiddush, and l’chaims that I’ve regularly participated in since I was old enough to hold a cup with two hands.


My friend snorted and told me that Moscoto d’Asti doesn’t count. I protested that I don’t drink Moscoti d’Asti, but that I’m a real drinker, who drinks GlenLivet, Crown Royal, and Frangelico (ok, Frangelico is lady stuff).


My friend then snorted at me again and told me that I am not a drinker.  I responded by the simple act of me drinking an alcoholic beverage on a regular basis does in fact qualify me.


“Did you ever get drunk, wake up with a headache type thing?”


I responded in the negative, but I have gotten a nice buzz a few times


“Doesn’t count.” She stated simply. I argued that it does…why do I need to be alcoholic to qualify as a drinker, can the title smoker be attributed only to one who have gotten lung cancer as a result?


Do what do you say, am I drinker, or do I need to down a lot more come the 27th?


Posted by on December 16, 2008 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , ,

22 responses to “Definitive Drinker

  1. EndOfWorld

    December 16, 2008 at 7:03 am

    I think you should stop right here. there is no glory in becoming an alcoholic. go volunteer for those less fortunate if you need a warm fuzzy feeling

  2. Jacob da Jew

    December 16, 2008 at 7:06 am

    Yeah, you’re a drinker in my book . I don’t believe in people getting smashed. A shot here or there is great but not more than that.

    But hey, when you turn 21, you should get buzzed.

  3. Something Different

    December 16, 2008 at 7:18 am

    I am not 21 yet, but I don’t see myself celebrating the official start of my adult life (when I am capable of making adult decisions) by getting drunk.

  4. tembow

    December 16, 2008 at 7:18 am

    why do you feel the need to be called a “drinker” or not. its not a good thing…

  5. tembow

    December 16, 2008 at 7:19 am

    im not gonna do that when i turn 21! I could drink now if i really wanted to

  6. frumcollegegirl

    December 16, 2008 at 7:32 am

    yea, not cool to want to be a drinker. did you smoke a pack when you turned 18?

  7. Es

    December 16, 2008 at 7:40 am

    i think ur considered a drinker… not like hard core (but like everyone is saying- who wasnt to be an alcoholic?!), but in a good way.

    when i turned 21, i didnt drink for real until maybe like 6 months later!

  8. Moshe

    December 16, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    As long as your drinking doesn’t revolve around Moscoto d’Asti and Kedem, you qualify.

  9. Frum Librarian

    December 16, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    Yeah, you are a drinker, but get drunk just once in your life. It doesn’t have to be on your birthday, but I am a firm believer in the try-anything-once school of thought. Happy Birthday!

  10. Nameless Faceless

    December 16, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Yeah, it’s a weird American thing – the whole “get bombed because your driver’s license says you can” – but there are some upsides to the 21st Birthday Pub Crawl/Disaster Party:

    1. Strangers (and not just creepy old men) will buy you drinks left and right; especially now, it’s economically irresponsible of you to have a moderately alcoholic 21st birthday.
    2. Everyone in America has had this celebration and they *love* to relieve their memories of it – you shouting from the bar “I’m 21 tooooodaaaaay!!” creates instant camaraderie. That’s why this night is usually so much fun for people.

    That being said, can I just give a heads up? I’ve had many, many friends whose 21st birthday celebrations have ended very badly. Hospitals, cops, courts, ruined friendships, lost shoes, reupholstered couches – party with people you trust and make sure at least two people stay sober.

    (Maybe I should let my mom see this – it sounded mildly mature?)

  11. Moshe

    December 16, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Just don’t use Tequila and don’t mix. Get drunk on good whiskey.

  12. Jendeis

    December 16, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    I don’t find any glory in becoming an alcoholic or “serious” drinker. If you enjoy drinking alcohol and can continue to do so in moderation, keep doing what you are doing.

    My advice for your 21st is to drink something fun — a drink that you’ve never had before and always wanted to try. You may also (in life, not necessarily on your birthday) want to try drinking different kinds of wines to find out what you like/dislike.

    Have a wonderful birthday and remember to enjoy yourself!

  13. Moshe

    December 16, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Go to a bar, I think there’s a kosher one in the city or one of the restaurants, and order a drink with a dirty name. And no, I’m not talking about “sex on the beach”.

    Hi, I’d like to have “sex with the bartender”.
    Hi, I’d like to have a “screaming orgasm”.

  14. jennifer

    December 16, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    i think it’s time to enable comment moderation.

  15. tembow

    December 17, 2008 at 5:39 am

    okay that is sooooo NOT appropriate

  16. Mikeinmidwood

    December 17, 2008 at 6:07 am

    I drank when I was young. Never stoned drunk, not even on purim. I always did have at least two shots when I drank.

  17. Moshe

    December 17, 2008 at 9:04 am

    jen and tem, real drink names, and there are drinks with even more interesting names. 😉

  18. NMF #7

    December 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Ugh- who says you need to prove yourself by drinking on your 21st birthday? What does it say? That you’re all grown up so you can poison your liver and abandon all worries and cares in your life? I’m a firm anti-alcohol person. Sorry.
    Come to Israel. You can drink/smoke a lot sooner- but you’ll see it so much around you that you probably won’t want to anymore.

  19. tooyoungtoteach

    December 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    I’m coming NMF, I’m coming,tickets are booked, bags are packed (well, not yet, but mentally)…Can’t wait!


    December 19, 2008 at 2:39 am

    your far from a drinker but your a loser for wanting to be one…….ive been drunk, ive vomited, and i sang……..its not that cool or fun…………your turning 21 grow up………is this soemthing you want the guys your dating to read………..

  21. Nameless Faceless

    December 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Gimme a Break: You’re totally right. What a helpful way to deliver information. Give ME a break….

    Moshe: I thought it was funny – and you’re right. There are waaaay worse names, and therefore, waaaay funnier.

  22. The Jewish Side

    December 26, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    TooYoungToTeach: Happy 21st Birthday. So I was right then, you are the same age as me. Well not the same age, as I’m going to be turning 20 soon. But the same age as in same grade level, cause I was the youngest in my class, and most of my classmates are turning 21 now. So that’s really cool that you finished graduate school so fast, assuming that you graduated HS in 2006 too. Unless you were the youngest in your class too and finished in 2005. Then it would make sense for you to finish grad school now, either way congrats on both!

    and like the other said, drinking’s not considered a virtue by most, except Moshe!
    But yea, I understand why you wrote this post, fit’s in with the personality type I have come to known from your blog.

    Moshe: that was funny though, but inappropriate like the others said! That kinda comment would go better on Frum Satire’s blog.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: