Below Beauty and Brains (and maybe Brawn)

12 Dec

Tembow, you really set me off with your first post….so here’s more on it.


Throughout world history, civilization has always prized beauty in different way, shapes and forms (can you tell I’ve been tutoring someone on Global Regent essays)….


Ok, so this is how it is: We all like pretty things (some of us more than others).


When applying beauty to a person, beauty is not acquired; it’s something you are born with (yes, make-up does help a lot [I’m not even going near cosmetic surgery), but I’m just stripping this down to the basics). Therefore people are more inclined to like, appreciate, admire pretty people based on something the pretty person can take no credit for.


Some people say this is shallow.


People like pretty things, and will therefore seek them out…in the ultimate form: a spouse. Everyone wants a beautiful husband or wife…may not be top priority, but it’s something no one would say no to.


In any case, people are constantly berating these beauty seekers as being shallow and there is so much more to care about in a spouse, but you know what, I do the same thing in my own way.


I won’t date someone who is not smart – not book smart – but smart, hold up his end of an intelligent conversation.


The guy didn’t do anything for his brains; he was born with them. And the same way the pretty girl or guy enhances their beauty with clothes, accessories, and products, my smart boy enhances his brain by learning.


So why am I not shallow?






Posted by on December 12, 2008 in Jewish, Shidduchim


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

8 responses to “Below Beauty and Brains (and maybe Brawn)

  1. Child Ish Behavior

    December 12, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    Perhaps you are shallow. But who cares, shallow is just a label that pompous people made up to put all the other people down. The pompous deep people think there is some sort of value in things that you can only see if you look beneath the surface, but beneath their surface they are all miserable. Beauty may only be skin deep, but misery runs to the core.

  2. tembow

    December 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    In a way it is the same thing. But its also different. Its hard to put into words why. I can’t, at least. maybe someone else can…

    i never thought about this before… thanks!

  3. tembow

    December 12, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    check out my blog for the new discussion…

  4. KT

    December 14, 2008 at 3:54 am

    Everybody is radically different. It is not a good idea to limit to certain personality traits, because your soulmate might turn out to be a different person than you thought you wanted.

    For some people, they keep their book smarts only in the aspect of their lives where they will need them. Also, one does not have to be an “intellectual” to be a good, entertaining conversationalist.

  5. Moshe

    December 14, 2008 at 4:27 am

    I just hate stupid people.

  6. The Jewish Side

    December 26, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I agree with you on this one. I’ve said this before. You are given the option with so many things. Of what type of guy you want, they are all criterias. Like no TV or black hat and stuff like that. So looks is just another one of them. It’s obviously something you can’t describe on paper, although the height part you can. But it’s still a choice and a reason. Smartness also. Along these lines, BT also, I’ve made this argument that a person shouldn’t be criticized for not going out with a BT, since it’s a choice. Not that BT’s are bad or anything. Just people have different levels, criterias and wants.

    Also, I think the whole source of it being shallow came from the line “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” that they feel you are negating a person because of their outside looks and not seeing their inside personality. While by intelligence it is part of the inside of a person. Also, because looks are transient and can change, so then if you marry someone for their looks and then they get fat or something then you feel there is nothing no longer there. But of course there can be marriage based on both the person itself and the looks, so then the person can still have something you like about them despite their looks. Cause when woman get pregnant a lot of times they end up keeping their weight and it’s hard to get rid of, the husbands don’t divorce their wives for that, because there is more to them then their beauty.

    Also, I might be weird, but I get insulted when people compliment me on my looks, and it freaks me out. I’ve had random guys approach me…and it wasn’t a fun thing. But if it was a guy I knew and there was more to it than the looks, then I wouldn’t mind the compliment.

  7. Frayda

    January 6, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Shallow=things that are not meaningful

  8. Chelsea

    January 7, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    beauty and brains, like all other attributes, are a gift from god and are only praiseworthy if used for the right purposes. Beauty is definitely an attribute, hoever beauty that is just for the sake of beauty, that is flaunted and used in the wrong way is definitely not admirable. In Eishet Chayil it says that beauty is false and lies, however our ancestors are noted for their outstanding beauty- what can we resolve from this? That beauty in and of itself is false, nothingness, however when combined with the right character traits, fear and love of god, etc. it is BEAUTIFUL!! Brains- or having a good head is also nothing without being combined witht other important things. However brains, unlike beauty are crucial in certain situations. While being smart is helpful when making important decisions in you, your spouses, or your childrens life, or running a successful business to make a living etc., beauty fails to offer any assistance. So in a marriage partner, for all practicality reasons, brains rules out beauty. You dont have to marry an Einstein, but you should look for someone who you trust and look up to when it comes to makind a decision or choice. That is not being vain- its being realistic.
    Everyone will marry on their level of intelligence (a bit above or a bit below) because thats the level they will be comfortabel at. And one lat thing I mat add is that many unintelligent peolpe make up for their lack thereoff by being sweet, darling, funny, and amazing to be around!!


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