In My Eyes and Heart

10 Dec

This post was spurred by “In My Life’s” post about not giving a guy a second date because she didn’t go for his looks.


My friends are beautiful.


Every single one them.


Statistically it’s a little improbable unless I make it a point to only make friends with pretty people. I’m not THAT shallow…so how do I reconcile the statistics.


We go to the age old adage of.


“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”


This line goes past person preferences of blonde vs. brunette, blue- eyed- vs. brown eyed, tall vs. short, fair vs. dark. It goes into the very murky territory of inner beauty and love.


My friends are beautiful because I love them (I also think I may have defied statistics, but never mind)


I don’t see the extra pounds, the full cheeks, quirky nose, thin hair, bad complexion, frumpy taste, crooked teeth, bowed legs…I see a friend. That I love.


I know it’s sappy and corny and clichéd…but things only become that when they’re nice truths.


We live in a world that seeks out angst and negativity, logic and criticism as forms of prized individuality. Simple things like love, beauty, positivity are cast aside as being weak, insipid, and emotional.


These things will give you a lot more in life even if it not an “objective truth”.


So basically, don’t cast off anyone based on looks until you know them. In dating, in friends, co-workers, students, teachers….I’m sure everyone has someone in their life who have proved them wrong in this area, whether the were initially beautiful until you got to know them, or plain, but now beautiful because you know them…


To all my friends out there and you know who you are,


YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL (and you know that’s a high compliment coming from me)






Posted by on December 10, 2008 in Shidduchim, Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , ,

13 responses to “In My Eyes and Heart

  1. manly lips

    December 10, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    ohhhh…i feel warm and fuzzy inside!
    Seriously – really nice post!
    and the same to you…

  2. Something Different

    December 10, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Alternatively, “beauty is in the eye of the beer holder” 😉

  3. JellybeanLover

    December 11, 2008 at 1:35 am

    Hey, manly lips this is how you spell it 😉

  4. MS

    December 11, 2008 at 2:48 am

    thank you!!!
    I always feel like I’m the only one who tries not to focus on what ppl are wearing etc., while everyone around me is commenting on this or that absolute stupidity. Glad to hear other people think this way too! 🙂

  5. offthederech

    December 11, 2008 at 4:21 am

    very nice

  6. citizen of brooklyn north

    December 11, 2008 at 4:22 am

    I think of two women I met over the years: one has magnificent features: deep blue eyes, flawless skin, beautiful bone structure, defined chiseled features. The other- big crooked septum, thin lips, , unremarkable eyes. The beautiful one talks- and her face looks empty. The less attractive one speaks- and there is charisma and personality with everything she says. Obviously it is what you see in a person that makes them attractive

  7. Child Ish Behavior

    December 11, 2008 at 7:51 am

    You do realize that based on your definition that everyone who is your friend is also beautiful, it is impossible to get you to give a frank opinion about their features.

    You may feel that all your friends are beautiful, but really now, who are we kidding, some people are just ugly. But you probably know that too.

    I know it sounds cruel, but it’s true.

  8. tembow

    December 11, 2008 at 7:54 am

    thanks for the link!

    On one hand, I agree with you. On the other hand, its really hard to see past the superficiality sometimes.

  9. NMF #7

    December 11, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    Wow- love this post, TYTT.
    Possibly, the longer you spent time with them- as a friend, the more their looks no longer became important to you…
    So- with dating- if the thing that turns someone off is their date’s apperance- maybe date further to see if the feeling about their features lessens, or remains the same.

  10. tooyoungtoteach

    December 11, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    Child Ish: My friend said the same thing (some people are just ugly) yeah, that’s true, I just don’t know them, or am not friends with them.

    I’m usually a pretty logical person…but when it comes to my friends looks, I’m totally subjective, so don’t ask me for info on them…ask me anything else about them I’m too honest (so friends, do not put me down as references, I don’t know euphamisms, and I can’t lie, but you knew that already)

    Also, seriously, I think most of my friends are objectively pretty…they do defy the statistics.

    Another thing about beauty…ever since I read Kevyn Acoins book “Making Faces” I see people differently. Facinating book. AMAZING pictures.


    December 11, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    im with u on this one…..i think all my friends are beautiful:)

  12. Thehaironmyhead

    December 12, 2008 at 5:58 am

    That was a very beautiful post!!! What u say about friends being beautiful in your eyes is true….i just got to know some kid recently who i thought looked really ugly….but after spending some time with her, her looks started to grow on me, and i actually like her personality alot!

  13. manly lips

    December 12, 2008 at 11:11 am

    thanx, jelly bean!


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