1) No more bad hair days.
Do you know what it means to blow your hair everyday?
2) I’ll get a raise
My teaching skills will be valued more once I am married. Even though, I believe single teachers are better teacher, they have more time to devote to their subject, yada, yada, yada, that’s the way it is.
3) I’ll be an accepted member of society
Single girls are in limbo. They are too old for High School projects, but no one takes them seriously because they’re not married. I don’t get the logic, but that’s the way it is
4) I finally get to really prove my family wrong that I am an awesome cook, and my house will be spotless
I just can’t seem to shake off some burned pots of 5 years ago. No one will let me live it down.
5) Joint Tax Returns
I pay WAAAAAAAAAAAY to much taxes. Every week they take off an EXORBANT amount from my paycheck. It’ll be nice to file with my husband and see a little more of my sweat earned dough!
6) To see if I will practice what I preach.
I spend half my life saying what I’d do if…what people should do when…let’s see if I’m as good as my word
7) Wedding gowns are ethereal.
I can’t wear one otherwise, and I look desperate trying one on, so I need to get married to do it.
8) I like Diamond rings.
In this scenario, I get one, for FREE. Also I can’t wear one otherwise, unless I want to mislead people, which is just too much fun to really do.
9) Married people are cut a lot of slack.
Everyone excuses them when they don’t call you back, come late and leave early to a simcha, or not show up at all.
10) People will stop pitying me.
Seriously, I don’t need your pity, I don’t even pity myself…go pity the poor homeless guy and try to help him instead on asking me repeatedly what I’m looking for, when you have no intention of “finding” it.