The REAL Reasons Why I Want to Get Married

02 Dec

1)      No more bad hair days.

 Do you know what it means to blow your hair everyday?

 2)      I’ll get a raise

 My teaching skills will be valued more once I am married. Even though, I believe single teachers are better teacher, they have more time to devote to their subject, yada, yada, yada, that’s the way it is.

 3)      I’ll be an accepted member of society

 Single girls are in limbo. They are too old for High School projects, but no one takes them seriously because they’re not married. I don’t get the logic, but that’s the way it is

 4)      I finally get to really prove my family wrong that I am an awesome cook, and my house will be spotless

 I just can’t seem to shake off some burned pots of 5 years ago. No one will let me live it down.

 5)      Joint Tax Returns

 I pay WAAAAAAAAAAAY to much taxes. Every week they take off an EXORBANT amount from my paycheck. It’ll be nice to file with my husband and see a little more of my sweat earned dough!

 6)      To see if I will practice what I preach.

 I spend half my life saying what I’d do if…what people should do when…let’s see if I’m as good as my word

 7)      Wedding gowns are ethereal.

 I can’t wear one otherwise, and I look desperate trying one on, so I need to get married to do it.

 8)      I like Diamond rings.

 In this scenario, I get one, for FREE. Also I can’t wear one otherwise, unless I want to mislead people, which is just too much fun to really do.

9)      Married people are cut a lot of slack.

 Everyone excuses them when they don’t call you back, come late and leave early to a simcha, or not show up at all.

10)  People will stop pitying me.

 Seriously, I don’t need your pity, I don’t even pity myself…go pity the poor homeless guy and try to help him instead on asking me repeatedly what I’m looking for, when you have no intention of “finding” it.


Posted by on December 2, 2008 in Shidduchim


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26 responses to “The REAL Reasons Why I Want to Get Married

  1. Mike Harmon

    December 2, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    I found your site on Google and read a few of your other entires. Nice Stuff. I’m looking forward to reading more from you.

  2. Child Ish Behavior

    December 2, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Don’t worry, instead of pity now you will just be looked down on for being extremely selfish. And badly selfish at that, all your reasons are products of external pressures. except for the bad hair day thing which is just laziness. You really have got to have some better reasons than these. Don’t be so shallow.

  3. Princess Lea

    December 2, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    I second the hair motion! Do dudes realize at all what hair maintenance involves? Plus wearing enough makeup to look good, but not to much to look bummy?
    Why else do people initially marry if not for their own happiness (ergo, selfishly)? A single person doesn’t say, “I want to get married to make someone else happy.” Maybe ten years after marriage one noble individual can say that.
    Reasons for marrying can be many, of a wide range. The stated ones above sound accurate, if the question were put to 85% of the single Jewish female community.
    Out of curiosity, what would be the “selfless” reasons for matrimony? A woman is not held to pru u’rvu. That’s a male requirement. So if we marry for less than noble reasons, in the end, we’re doing some poor sap a favor, and we are therefore selflessly gliding down the aisle in a custom made ivory hued delight.

  4. dina

    December 2, 2008 at 9:42 pm

    What’s wrong with getting married for selfish reasons? I mean, I should hate to think my husband married me as some act of supreme sacrifice. I’d rather he thought he was getting something out of it.

  5. manly lips

    December 2, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    Child Ish, I hope you’re joking.

    Nice, tytt – I’ll forward the list to interested parties.

    and why would anyone pity you? you shtinker – still — years… but not for long!!!

  6. JellybeanLover

    December 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

    Hey tytt nice post. I hope you find the guy soon. And I would love to taste your cooking ;p is it as good as you make it sound? send me a sample.

  7. Es

    December 3, 2008 at 1:46 am

    haha great post! very funny…. and SOOO true!

  8. Mikeinmidwood

    December 3, 2008 at 5:51 am

    Watch how mike harmon doesn’t come back.

  9. tooyoungtoteach

    December 3, 2008 at 6:16 am

    Mike: He probably won’t, and with a generic comment like that, don’t really care if he does.

    and Child Ish: you take me WAY too seriously, if I really truly and sincerely thought this, I would not write it…I take the risk of sounding shallow, becuase I know I’m not and assume others would get it…if I really was that shallow I probably wouldn’t have enough brain cells to write this post 🙂

  10. Anita

    December 3, 2008 at 6:53 am

    tytt- why do you blow your hair everyday?

    “dudes” DONT get it, and they just really dont care. If your hair is up, they like seeing your neck, if its down they like the fact that you let loose…its really a complete waste of time,and you should stop blowiing your hair because it is BAD for the hair.

    Its bad enough you’ll probably be wearing a sheital which is like hte worst thing ever for hair, but atleast while you’re single you should respect it and keep it looking good. If Gd intended all women to have straight hair, he wouldn’t need a blow drier/iron to do it.

  11. tooyoungtoteach

    December 3, 2008 at 7:14 am

    I teach High School — GIRLS

    ’nuff said.

    besides, my mother would NOT be happy. She wants me to get married, and she’s still paying for most of my clothes, so it’s wise not to bite the hand that feeds you, don’t you think?

  12. Anita

    December 3, 2008 at 7:39 am

    “I teach High School — GIRLS”

    That excuse wouldn’t work even if you were teaching at a fashion design school. You’re not a beauty school teacher where your hair has to be done nicely. Tell the girls to get lives if they care about what your hair looks like.

    “She wants me to get married”

    That’s nice. As does mine. My mother wants me to be happy with the guy I choose, I can’t be happy with a guy if I choose him under false pretenses (ie wearing my hair in a certain way to please MOM).

    Your mom should BUTT out. If you’re supposedly mature enough to get married you’re mature enough to choose whether or not you should/shouldn’t blow your hair.

    What if you’re not married because one of the guys you went out with hated the fact that your hair was not wavy enough and rejected you?

  13. tooyoungtoteach

    December 3, 2008 at 7:47 am

    In a world where everything right prevailed I’d concede…except it doesn’t. And if if I serve as a positive role model for my students; that you can be put together and be well within the realm of tznius then I suffer I will…

    My mom’s fine…she wouldn’t say anything, but I know what she’s thinking, so this is my form of kibud eim.

    As for guys…well one guy wouldn’t even go out with me because I have short hair (that’s another reason I have to blow my hair – I can’t put it up) and if a guy’s rejecting me for that, then I’m not particularly interested in him.

  14. Anita

    December 3, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Are you implying one cannot be a “put together” if their hair is not blown?

    And I did not mean that the guy would truly reject you solely because of your hair, but he may have rejected you indirectly because of it (lack of attraction). Afterall, you’re only blowing your hair because thats the “right” thing to do, and considered the most attractive thing to do, however, one guy may think that its NOT the attractive thing.

    My point is to be yourself. Don’t blow your hair if you don’t want to.

  15. tooyoungtoteach

    December 3, 2008 at 8:15 am

    You can definitley be put together if your hair isn’t blown…in the school I work in – not so.

    Once again if everything right in the world prevailed you would win hands down…

    Don’t worry, when I don’t want to blow my hair I don’t, and when I’m not in the mood of makeup, I don’t do it either…but generally speaking I do do it.

    Btw – if you saw me, you’d realize that I wear my hair the way I do out of choice and not social pressure of what’s “right” because nobody has my hair… it becomes a pain that I have to maintain it…but that’s another story.

  16. Anita

    December 3, 2008 at 8:34 am

    how you’re not flipping out is beyond me.

    If I worked in a school where I had to have my hair blown I would’ve either told them off (and I’ve done things like this on numerous occassions, all were to my benefit), or quit.

    And, if you wore your hair the way you wanted to, you’d still do the same sort of stuff even after marriage all the time for your husband. YOu wouldn’t just leave it.

    Its pretty clear alot has to do with social pressures

  17. NMF #7

    December 3, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Sorry to disappoint you- but shaitels also create those perpetual bad hair days. Receding hairlines, lack of sunshine, and falling out- you bet. Try tichels- head ache. Scarves tend to work best.
    And, you’re allowed think you want to get married for selfish reasons- but make sure that you turn them into altruistic ones when you do actually meet Mr. Right. Although I kinda like the one about how married people are taken more seriously.
    Once you be”H actually join the married club, you’ll realize that there are levels there too:
    no kids, 1 on the way, gregarious, head of neshei- and so on…I’m still not taken totally seriously all the time.

  18. tooyoungtoteach

    December 3, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Amita: Of course a lot has to do with social pressure…my thinking is, I stand out as enough once I open my mouth, I might as well be semi-conventional (I’m “put together” in socially accetapable standards, but I have a VERY distinct style)…

    NMF: Ye, they cause bad hair days…under the shaitel…and the bad hair day is not seen. Why else would I care if my hair was bad, if no one was going to see it…

    And don’t worry about my “selfish” reason…a girl can’t attempt to be funny?

    ye, I know there are levels after you get married too…but hello, I’d like to atleast start climbing the ladder.

  19. Moshe

    December 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    If you want to keep more of your money, make sure you don’t marry someone like me.
    I’m a freelance web developer and my taxes are of the 1099 variety.
    On the other hand, I’m a work at home dad.

  20. frumpunk

    December 4, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Mike Harmon is a spambot, its a generic comment to link to a website. My spam filter usually catches those.

  21. tooyoungtoteach

    December 4, 2008 at 2:11 am

    mine usually does too…don’t know what happened here…oh well.

    Moshe: I don’t know THAT much about taxes, what is the 1099 variety?

  22. Moshe

    December 4, 2008 at 6:14 am

    Means I pay all of the taxes, not half me, half company.

  23. tooyoungtoteach

    December 4, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Ouch! That’s expensive!!! but I suppose you make enough to make it worth it…

  24. Becca

    December 8, 2008 at 8:49 am


    Riddle: What’s worse than a bad hair day? A bad sheitel day! Before I had to cover my hair, no matter how bad it was, it could always be pulled into a ponytail and finished. With a sheitel, that is virtually impossible, what with worrying about “sideburns”, widow’s peak, etc. You *can’t* just make a bad sheitel do go away, which means blow drying, etc. And believe me, it’s a lot harder when it ain’t attached to your head!!

  25. Nameless Faceless

    December 9, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    Disclaimer: That diamond ring may be a gift, but that sure-as-shootin’ don’t mean it’s free. As someone who received a giant rock (oh, it killed me to give it back), please trust me. There’s a lot a good girl has to do to earn and keep that ring – knowing what I know now, I think I’ll just buy my own chunk, thanks 🙂


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