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Rosh Hashana Ambiguity

26 Sep

Most bloggers have already mentioned Rosh Hashana in one way or another. Me, I don’t know what to say. I can’t inspire, I need inspiration. I can’t mock, because I don’t think it’s appropriate.

 

I’m average.

 

Part of me is going “What, it’s Rosh Hashana already?!!!” the other half is terrified of its implications.

 

Part of me knows I’m going to be counting pages, sniggering at some people in shul’s choice of attire. I’m going to lose my concentration. I’m going to have a bad shemone esrei or two. I’m going to wonder what the heck half the things I’m saying.

 

But then there’s a part of me that really is trying, that really wants, that is really crying. Crying because I really feel and understand, or crying over the fact that I just don’t get it.

 

Everyone has those moments every once in a while, where everything is crystallized, and makes sense. Rosh Hashana presents itself with ample opportunity for that to happen. Those seconds where you understand, where you care, where you want, where you try, and sincerely mean everything you say.

 

I’m hoping that this Rosh Hashana and this year will be one of the better ones.

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8 Comments

Posted by on September 26, 2008 in Yom Tov

 

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8 responses to “Rosh Hashana Ambiguity

  1. JellybeanLover

    September 26, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    That is so true. I feel the exect same way!

     
  2. Esther

    September 26, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    ditto.
    nice post!

     
  3. The Babysitter

    September 28, 2008 at 5:03 am

    “Crying because I really feel and understand, or crying over the fact that I just don’t get it”

    And both are equal.

    That’s exactly how it is by me, the 2 sides. But it does feel good when your davening a whole day and you feel like your starting the year off in a good way by doing the right thing.

    “I’m hoping that this Rosh Hashana and this year will be one of the better ones.”

    Amen!

     
  4. frumcollegegirl

    September 28, 2008 at 7:53 am

    apparantly when you have those moments of sincere wanting to do better, it’s when you’re case is being judged…

    or something like that

     
  5. Anita

    September 28, 2008 at 9:43 am

    “I’m hoping that this Rosh Hashana and this year will be one of the better ones.”

    AMEN!

    Generally, I’m almost like you. But I mock, alot of it.

     
  6. Princess Lea

    October 3, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Us of us with Hungarian blood aren’t understood by the rest of the world. We cannot help ourselves. For instance, empire waists are so not chinosh. They were abolished after the Jane Austen era for a reason, people.
    What were you saying about concentration in shul?

     
  7. tooyoungtoteach

    October 3, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    Ditto Princess, unless you’re really skinny (like me), you look pregnant, and even then you don’t look so good.

    Also the 60’s mod “bags” went out for a reason back then too. We really don’t need to see you in an industrial size garbage bag.

     
  8. Princess Lea

    October 7, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Finally, someone who understands.

     

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