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Spare Me Your Honesty

28 Aug
I decided I don’t like honest, blunt people. It’s rude impolite and serves no real purpose other than to let others know how nasty you really are.

I was talking to someone about my friend who was in play with me. The conversation went like this

Me: You should have seen X !It was hysterical, a modern Carol Burnet!

Other Person: Who’s Carol Burnet?

Me: Y’know, Miss Hannigan from Annie. She had this whole persona thing, very funny.

Other Person: Well I don’t think X is good. I never liked her.

Me: What? Why?

Other Person: She was always annoying. A little whiny.

Me: When was the last time you saw her?

Other Person: Dunno, five years

Me: Ye, she was 15.

Etc.

What was the purpose in her telling me she didn’t like her, or that she’s a bad actress? She hasn’t seen the person in years, yet she felt the need to interject her “true and honest” opinion of her!

Most of the time it is really better to just keep your comments to yourself. You know what you think, be secure in it. The entire world doesn’t need to hear and agree with you. You’re not that important that your opinions need to be heard, or are making any difference to the world at large.

If I solicit your opinion like,

“What do you think of X as an actress”

Or

“How do I look today?”

While it may not be worth it to be honest, you do have carte blanche to say what you want.

Yes, have your opinions, state your piece, be heard, but when you’re just being “honest”, SHUT UP.

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11 Comments

Posted by on August 28, 2008 in Uncategorized

 

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11 responses to “Spare Me Your Honesty

  1. Child Ish Behavior

    August 28, 2008 at 1:31 am

    I’m going to go ahead and argue with you on the point. Nicety is nice but honesty is best. I want to know that I am getting the truth, or at least something that sounds like the truth. I hate the people that have the false smile. ech.

    Say how you feel and don’t let anyone stop you.
    I do.
    Though I can see how it makes me unpopular sometimes. But that is par for the course in speaking your mind. Not everyone agrees with everyone else.

     
  2. tooyoungtoteach

    August 28, 2008 at 2:46 am

    Speak your mind, go ahead, but there is a time and place for everything. And if your honesty is going to serve no other purpose than you being “honest”, keep your comments to yourself.

    It’s not a matter of people not agreeing with you, it’s about common human decency most of the time.

    In the situation I portrayed above, was the person’s comments revalent or called for? Did it add any depth or further understanding to the conversation. No, it was just plain old “honesty”. I don’t need such “truths”

     
  3. EndOfWorld

    August 28, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    There’s a difference between speaking your mind and badmouthing someone. Speaking your mind is more when your friend decides to do something crazy (like bikeride during the nine days:) ) and you present your thoughts on the matter (dude! you’re nuts)

    Badmouthing someone is forgetting to put the filter between the brain and mouth. Not everything you feel or think needs to be said.

    Anway, sporadic, congrats on hitting 1000. I refreshed your page a couple of time to give you a boost (oops, can I say that in public?)
    heheh.

     
  4. tooyoungtoteach

    August 28, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    I guess you can call it bad mouting, but many bad mouther’s pride themselves on being “honest”. So I may be using the word in the wrong context, so are they, and they’re are giving all real honest people a bad rap.

     
  5. EndOfWorld

    August 28, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Right. Anyway, along with honesty comes diplomacy and common sense. If they’re missing then honesty takes a dive into downright rudeness

     
  6. The Babysitter

    August 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    TooYoungToTeach: well your situation is different from normal, that conversation was just Richilos, where one person is not supposed to say bad about another cause it might cause you to think bad of the other person. That’s the exact reason why its not allowed.

    Also, here she wasn’t saying it directly to the person, she was saying it to you, and there was no tachlis in that, so it was just plain uncalled for. She was hoping you would agree so that it would bond your friendship, that your both against this girl. But in fact it just made you think less of her.

    Now about honesty, it’s great in the right situations. But there has to be a purpose, and not just for entertainment. I mean, like you said about the girls that tried out, you had your honest opinion of them, you weren’t going to allow the girls with really bad voices to sing, you discuss it with the other people that are also in charge, and you come to agreement of who should be picked. But at the same time you wouldn’t go tell another counselor, that has nothing to do with the girls singing, that you thought certain girls voices were horrible, cause that’s just mean and uncalled for, and it embarrasses them for no reason.

    So altogether, I think Your right, and I agree with you.

     
  7. tooyoungtoteach

    August 28, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    I find a lot of times, people think that when they have something negative to say, it makes them a more asture obervant person, like “wow, look at me, I was able to notice that”

    You can talk about lashon horah from here to tommorow, but there are those who are aware, and those who don’t want to be…

     
  8. The Babysitter

    August 28, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    TooYoungToTeach: yea, I see that too.

    That’s true, I’m usually not aware of it myself, I never stop to think, its only looking back at a conversation that I can analyze it in that way.

     
  9. Mikeinmidwood

    August 29, 2008 at 2:23 am

    If I am speaking to someone I only want to hear the truth because later on the lie always comes forth and you really would be mad at the person for lieing to you and the lie obviously covered something up which is now revealed which may or may not be good ( the good being its really a suprise party for you and didnt want to spoil it so I lied ). Then there is a difference the truth and whats not needed but is true also.

     
  10. tooyoungtoteach

    August 29, 2008 at 2:44 am

    If I’m asking if I look fat in something, YES, tell me the truth. But if you think I looked lousy yesterday, don’t tell me today.

     
  11. Esther Ed

    September 3, 2008 at 12:24 am

    i 100% agree with this post! this is one of my biggest pet peeves! by “other person” telling u that they didnt like that girl or wtvr- didnt really do anything for anyone… just made “other person” seem like a negative hating person. like when ppl pass by someone on the street whos is really ugly and then comment “omg did u see how ugly that person was?!” its like, yea… i did see… but i wasnt going to bring it up because thats just plain rude! k i can go on and on abt this lol but i think ill stop here.

    great blog btw 🙂

     

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