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Celebrate Cell-phones

26 Aug
I’m back home from camp. YAY! More posts forthcoming…

Anyway, there was a panel Friday night discussing “communication”; this a euphemism for “cell-phones are evil”.

I have to stand up, go against the grain and say, go ahead and let cell phones infiltrate and destruct the world as we know it. I say this, because in simple economics terms; the benefits outweigh the costs.

Every second of the day, cell phones selflessly protect the fragile self-esteems of girls everywhere.

At every simcha, social gathering, street corner waiting, there are girls fiddling around with their cell-phones. They seem so busy, so focused on their task, so driven. No, they are not waiting for an urgent call, for a ride, an answer, a chat. They’re more likely to be deleting contacts, fooling around with the calculator, reading old texts, and if they’re daring, changing the language on their phone.

Why, you might ask?

Cell phones are a symbol of communication, of connectivity, access to people. People equal social success, popularity, and need. Therefore if you are busy with your cell phone you must be popular, needed, well-liked, and important…instead of having no one to talk to at your “modern” cousin’s vort. People perceive you differently. You are suddenly indispensable and cool.

It protects a person from feeling stupid, looking pathetic: desperate.

It also is a great defense mechanisms as it protects the mind from realizing how fragile the person really is.

So what if girls go around with artificially inflated ego based on “social success”? They aren’t crying in the bathroom, closet eating, whining, which is all the better for me and the world at large because an insecure girl is a force to be reckoned with.

Cell-phones: you are a G-d-send.

 

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12 Comments

Posted by on August 26, 2008 in Uncategorized

 

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12 responses to “Celebrate Cell-phones

  1. EndOfWorld

    August 26, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Haha. You’ve seen right through my smoke screen.

    This was a razor sharp analysis of a brilliant solution to common social awkwardness.

    The only time it’s not okay to fiddle with your cell phone is when on a date. Well, unless you’re trying really hard to end that aforementioned date.

     
  2. tooyoungtoteach

    August 26, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Nope, even then it’s rude you play with your phone. Be brave enough to say you want to go home, and if you don’t have the courage than suffer for it. Don’t be rude!

     
  3. EndOfWorld

    August 27, 2008 at 5:17 am

    Even though I should probably post under a fake name so it doesnt look like you have a posse of one, I couldn’t help but share this story….
    Today I was forced to take the subway. Sitting right opposite me was the super of my building who was trying to catch my eye. Nice friendly guy. Not someone I’m interested in talking to. Needless to say the good ol’ cell was whipped out. Thank you Sporadic for the idea!

     
  4. Child Ish Behavior

    August 27, 2008 at 5:44 am

    It’s not only girls. Many fellows just play tetris on their phone all day long.

     
  5. tooyoungtoteach

    August 27, 2008 at 6:08 am

    Are they playing for the fun of it, seeing if they can beat their previous score, or are they playing so people won’t think that they are pathetic social creatures?

     
  6. Child Ish Behavior

    August 27, 2008 at 4:15 am

    probably because they are just bored before the chazen starts chazuras hashatz.

     
  7. tooyoungtoteach

    August 27, 2008 at 4:36 am

    Then whatever I heard on the panel applies to boys, it should be banned, it causes lack of communication, obbsession…blah blah blah…girls however are exempt for the aforementioned explanation

     
  8. The Babysitter

    August 27, 2008 at 10:12 am

    that was great, so insightful.

     
  9. Mikeinmidwood

    August 27, 2008 at 11:49 am

    tooyoungtoteach

    I believe its the pathetic social creature answer

     
  10. tooyoungtoteach

    August 27, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    If that’s so Mike, I reccomend every parent purchasing a cell-phone for their child once they enter high school.

     
  11. EndOfWorld

    August 31, 2008 at 12:06 am

    Arent we supposed to be teaching our children social skills? What will the future dating scene look like if we dont?

     
  12. tooyoungtoteach

    August 31, 2008 at 12:52 am

    EndofWorld: they’ll text their conversations. Limit each comment to a 160 letters (and therefore encouraging a low vocabulary)

     

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