Fabulous Food Foolery

15 Aug

Concerning food, I don’t think anyone takes lessons to heart. Yes, we may learn lessons, but we don’t apply them. Come to anything else, If we mess up, we don’t do it again, or do it again, but smarter.


If I oversleep, and the rest of my day is spent hiding because I’m wearing two different shoes, and my hair is sticking out in mathematically impossible angles. I’ll be sure to never oversleep again. Or next time I oversleep, be smarter about it, like wearing a my Disney’s Mickey Mouse ears to cover my hair and distract people from my feet


If I insult my brother and he cries and tells my mother who gets annoyed at me, I’d learn to be a little more subtle and smarter in my insults. Use bigger words, give them in smaller increments so he doesn’t notice them that much, but I still get the satisfaction.


If I lend my sister my sweater and she stretches is out, I’ll learn to never lend her a sweater again…or to buy sweaters that she wouldn’t be caught dead in…or make her lose weight…or lend her sweater I don’t particularly like, and when she stretches it, make her keep it, while I rationalize buying a new wardrobe.


If I experiment with purple eye shadow, and my friends want to know what door I walked into; I will not be wearing purple anymore, or find more supportive friends


However, if I eat a combination of cupcakes, cheesecake, ice coffee, taco chips and salsa, Dougies, and Fresca, and spend the night clutching my stomach in agony; I WILL do it again


If I eat 3 franks, 2 doughnuts, Hawaiian fruit punch, twerps and saltines, and I enjoy the remainder of the evening by burping up frank and doughnut residue, I WILL do it again.


If I eat cereal and milk for breakfast, and then they bring out the pancakes topped with ice cream, I will eat a second breakfast, maybe even a third. I will annoy all my friends, telling them.

“Oh my gosh I ate so much. I feel so gross, Why didn’t you stop me….”

And I WILL do it again.


If refreshments is MASSIVE homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, I will eat six of them. I will dunk each bite into milk a la nursing home style. I will hoard a few more for later. I will complain how my stomach is starting to show, and that my mother would kill me if I gained weight in camp, but I WILL do it again.


If I drink three expressos at 11 o’clock at night, and wonder why I can’t fall asleep, and consequently eat Ike and Sam popcorn, Stella Dora Shtreimel cookies, trail mix, Raisin Bran, pretzel crisps, mustard, a banana, and cottage cheese to satisfy my boredom, and then make best friends with the toilet trying to throw it all up…I WILL do it again.


The simple explanation is that food is that good, and we are that weak.


Oh Well.


Posted by on August 15, 2008 in Food


Tags: , , , ,

13 responses to “Fabulous Food Foolery

  1. Child Ish Behavior

    August 17, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    Na. I always make the same mistakes twice. With everything including food. Who remembers from one minute to the next? Life is too short to be a stickler about the past.

  2. wannabeshadchanit

    August 17, 2008 at 5:32 pm


  3. tooyoungtoteach

    August 17, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Wow, what a great attitude toward life. I’m sure you’ll go very far!

  4. frumpunk

    August 19, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    How much do you weigh?

  5. EndOfWorld

    August 20, 2008 at 1:28 am

    punk, you wanna end up with a black eye?

  6. tooyoungtoteach

    August 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    Punk: I’m gonna pretend you never said that.

    EndOfWorld: Ditto!

  7. The Babysitter

    August 27, 2008 at 10:17 am

    It’s not just food, its the same with babies. I hear pregnancy is very hard, and people go through a lot, but yet they do it again.

    Now why is that, its because there’s pleasure gained from food and having babies. While those other examples you gave, there was no pleasure, so that’s why you wouldn’t want to repeat it.

    Same with anything you enjoy, there’s always a price to pay, but at the end you want to do it again, because the overall pleasure was better than the small expense of discomfort.

  8. tooyoungtoteach

    August 27, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I didn’t see it that way Babysitter. Good perspective!

  9. The Babysitter

    August 28, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    TooYoungToTeach: Thanx!

  10. tooyoungtoteach

    August 28, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    I’m open to suggestion…it’s not always the way I first saw it

  11. Mikeinmidwood

    August 31, 2008 at 12:00 am

    How about weight watchers (not that your fat just that it may control eating habbits). 2 bowls of cereal and milk and im stuffed no way am I going to have Ice cream pancakes. About same mistake twice yeah it happens only the second time I think the problem the mistake caused aint gonna happen.

  12. tooyoungtoteach

    August 31, 2008 at 12:55 am

    I think you forgot what a youthful appetite is, Mike.

    Quoting my first cousin once reomoved (and I’m sure countless of other people, and a take-off of a gemora): There is always room for another piece of cake!

  13. toni

    August 31, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    hon- unfortunately relate to every shmarn example…! very well-put..


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