Contrary to popular belief, but a Jewish wedding is not there to celebrate the marriage of girl A to boy B. Rather it is for the parents of girl A and Boy B to celebrate their children tying the knot. Sorry to shatter all engaged or dreamy girls dreams, imagining their wedding as “their DAY”. Your wedding is for your parents not you.
If it was up to me, I’d invite my friends, immediate family, maybe a few cousins, and that’s it to my wedding. But no, I’ll probably have to cut down my friend list to accommodate cousins and old family friends I never knew existed. I’ll smile at kabolas ponim, and kiss the cheeks of many people with scratchy skin, and firm handshakes wishing me a hearty “Mazal Tov”. I’ve seen my sisters go through it, and so will, in due time.
Yes, I’ll choose my gown, how I wear my hair blah blah blah, I did that for myself at my siblings wedding already, it doesn’t count. What counts is who comes and is invited…in which I my guest come in 2nd.
People complain of a Shidduch Crisis, and my brother and I have realized that it’s out-of-town mothers that contribute to it. Many boys won’t go out with out-of-town girls because, besides for the dating inconvenience, it is very difficult for their friends to attend their wedding. If the boy is learning in Lakewood, and most of her friends are married and live in Lakewood, wouldn’t it be logical for the wedding to be in Lakewood? If the wedding were for the Chosson and Kallah, the answer is clear. However, since the wedding is for the parents, the solution is no longer and option, because then all THEIR people won’t be able to attend.
I don’t think anything I say will change the reality, just wanted to open your eyes, and jade your image of weddings…Hey, think of it this way, if you have more than one kid than you’ll have an opportunity to have “your day” more than once (a new incentive to have kids..)