Invite me in another language, maybe I’ll come then.

24 Jul

The Hebrew side of wedding invitations are the biggest waste of time. Besides for the point that invitations themselves are overrated (they make good dustpans when I can’t find mine), the only part anyone reads is the names to see if the chosson or kallah are hiding any embarrassing second names, like Yenta, Shprintzy, or my friend’s name, Geesa. Don’t know why people feel obligated to disclose their names in their invitations. There is no rule, or halacha of the sort, it’s not a kesubah…

In any case, nobody reads the Hebrew, yet some people, or actually most people make the biggest shtink over it. I know, because I worked as a secretary/typesetter/graphic artist in a Jewish printing press for a year.  People agonize over the wording, the font, the layout. Just stick to some standarized wording and layout the printer shows you, no one will be any wiser.

Should it be kol sasson v’cull simcha…. Or start with od yi’shama…

Should it be ha’kallah habesula, or just plain ha’kallah (If you’re even noticing this, one would assume she was a virgin and you wouldn’t need to specify)

Same with the chosson, is it, plain ha’chosson, or is it, ha’bochur  ha’chosson ha’mouflug….blah blah blah they’re all the same (the wording and the men).

Should the address of the hall be in Hebrew?

How do you spell Brooklyn, transliterated?

Where should they put the line breaks , before or after the Hebrew date?

Should that week’s Parsha be on the same line?

After the chosson’s and kallah’s names, should it be shetichye, or neryu, or a different one for each.

Should it be written out or abbreviated?

Should the time be in Hebrew, or Arabic numbers?

Someone once even asked if Arabic numbers were allowed on a Jewish invitation. I just looked at them.

And what is up with “ateres zekainim”? I love them and all, but what are they doing on an invitation?

With each invitation I’d go through at least 4 proofs, and most of the changes were on the Hebrew side.  

I’ve decided for my invitations, I’m going to have the Hebrew side, well, looking Hebrew, but actually English transliterated.

I doubt anyone would notice the difference.











Posted by on July 24, 2008 in Weddings


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

12 responses to “Invite me in another language, maybe I’ll come then.

  1. offthederech

    September 18, 2008 at 9:23 am

    “Embarrassing second names”
    -This one’s hilarious.

  2. tooyoungtoteach

    September 18, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Yeah, well that friend (Geesa) just got engaged. I’m curious to see her invitation.

  3. offthederech

    September 18, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    I feel bad for people with crazy names.
    My little brother’s second name is Feivel!

    btw, is there any way I can sign up for email notification for comments?

  4. tooyoungtoteach

    September 18, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    I don’t know if that’s possible through wordpress, sorry. That’s the only problem I have with it….it means you have to keep checking up to see if someone responded, and give hits. YaY.

    Anyway, I have a pretty lousy middle name, not as bad as feivel, but I compensate by making it a cool intial.

  5. offthederech

    September 24, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    Don’t worry, I got this. Didn’t know what to say-Wordpress sucks? j/k
    I really liked your latest post (hop plop). Didn’t comment-tough noogies

  6. offthederech

    October 26, 2008 at 1:51 am

    Random question. Sorry.
    Why are you “too young to teach?”
    Aren’t you a teacher?
    Hey, I’m losing sleep over this;

  7. The Babysitter

    October 26, 2008 at 5:04 am

    I think she feels that she is still too young to be a teacher, in that usually teachers are older, and she still feels young.

    TooYoungToTeach: that was the reason I always thought. But if it’s not it, then I’m curious too what the name is for.

  8. tooyoungtoteach

    October 26, 2008 at 7:20 am

    Ye, that’s basically it Babysitter, especially when it comes to High School, there are VERY few young teachers.

  9. frumpunk

    October 27, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    You’re right about the hebrew side. I dont understand why its still there, unless you’re sending it to lots of people who only read hebrew.

    I have an awesome second name. Its the first that I dont like. Nothing embarrassing, its just so plain. The annoying thing is that I was close to having an awesome name, before my mom chickened out and changed the first one.

  10. tooyoungtoteach

    October 29, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    My Sympathies FrumPunk.

    Btw, updating a previous comment, I jsut recieved my friend’s invitation, the one whose second name is Geesa. Lo and Behold, I look at the Hebrew and her full name is there.

    She’ll probably get a lot of comments, because most people never knew she had a second name, let alone a lousy one.

  11. The Babysitter

    October 30, 2008 at 12:03 am

    I never heard of such a second name. Perhaps in hebrew it makes more sense. what does it mean?

  12. tooyoungtoteach

    October 30, 2008 at 12:10 am

    No idea.


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