Monthly Archives: May 2010

Encourage Me

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I’d like to formally apologize for my lack of decent (read: interesting, entertaining) posts since I got engaged. It’s not just a matter of LaLa Land and being too busy. It’s just that 1) I share my life with someone else now, and while I may not be so private, I have to respect my husband’s, so that takes care of a lot of potential material. 2) It’s ok and acceptable to blog about dating, the emotions and so on and so forth…not so appropriate when you’re married, so that takes care of other material….and 3) I’m in LaLa Land and a too busy J

I really would like to get this blog up and running again, but I get no feedback (aka comments) lately which is a bit discouraging. So if you like my blog (or liked), comment. Please. (ooh, I sound pathetically desperate…which I may be….)

What If…I never started this blog

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I was going through old documents on my computer, and found one I probably put together about 6  years ago. It was a list of What If’s. I basically evaluated all the things I had in my life, events that happened to me, and proposed the question what if. I also included things I thought I was lacking, and proposed the same what if?.  It’s an interesting exercise to do, and even more so to look back on and reevaluate.

Here’s a sample of my list: WHAT IF

  1. I had brown eyes
  2. I couldn’t sing
  3. I couldn’t draw
  4. I was fat
  5. I had long hair
  6. I wasn’t Jewish
  7. I wasn’t opinionated
  8. I wasn’t shy
  9. I had a nice smile
  10. I was rich
  11. I went to a different high school
  12. I went to Israel for seminary
  13. what if I could dance at weddings
  14. what if I had a straight nose
  15. what if I were photogenic
  16. I could keep a manicure
  17. what if I were smarter
  18. what if I were a bit dim
  19. what if I were  picky eater
  20. what if I never did my exercise
  21. what if I dressed more conservatively
  22. what if I didn’t have so much pride
  23. what if my face had a shape
  24. what if I were less ambitious

 

And I also included a lot of what if’s on events that happened, experiences lived, and choices made.

It gives you an opportunity to sort of see components that make you, well, you. And how something as inconsequential as having blue/green eyes with a brown center can make of your perceived self-image. It also shows you your weaknesses, jealousies, but even among those, you can find that qualities that balance that perceived lack.

Looking back at it, I get to see my growth as a person, how my priorities, perceptions, philosophies have changed.

For those lacking direction, identification, and self-esteem, make yourself such a list, and you’ll probably get to see, who you are, where you’re headed, and how cool you really are.