I was going through old documents on my computer, and found one I probably put together about 6 years ago. It was a list of What If’s. I basically evaluated all the things I had in my life, events that happened to me, and proposed the question what if. I also included things I thought I was lacking, and proposed the same what if?. It’s an interesting exercise to do, and even more so to look back on and reevaluate.
Here’s a sample of my list: WHAT IF
- I had brown eyes
- I couldn’t sing
- I couldn’t draw
- I was fat
- I had long hair
- I wasn’t Jewish
- I wasn’t opinionated
- I wasn’t shy
- I had a nice smile
- I was rich
- I went to a different high school
- I went to Israel for seminary
- what if I could dance at weddings
- what if I had a straight nose
- what if I were photogenic
- I could keep a manicure
- what if I were smarter
- what if I were a bit dim
- what if I were picky eater
- what if I never did my exercise
- what if I dressed more conservatively
- what if I didn’t have so much pride
- what if my face had a shape
- what if I were less ambitious
And I also included a lot of what if’s on events that happened, experiences lived, and choices made.
It gives you an opportunity to sort of see components that make you, well, you. And how something as inconsequential as having blue/green eyes with a brown center can make of your perceived self-image. It also shows you your weaknesses, jealousies, but even among those, you can find that qualities that balance that perceived lack.
Looking back at it, I get to see my growth as a person, how my priorities, perceptions, philosophies have changed.
For those lacking direction, identification, and self-esteem, make yourself such a list, and you’ll probably get to see, who you are, where you’re headed, and how cool you really are.