The Crossing of Marriage and Life

Before you get married everyone tells you marriage is a growing experience.

You grow as a person and a couple. You learn to put up and shut up about some things. You learn how to control your temper, understand or at least appreciate other perspectives.  You learn think twice before you speak and how to phrase your words. You learn to respect privacy, boundaries, and opinions You learn to pick your battles, and discern what’s important in the long run, and what can fall to the way side.

This is good growth, and healthy marriage practices.

My only question is, this whole growing process, is it to be shared and spread onto other aspects of your life, working relationships, family relationships, children?

I’m assuming not, because if it were so I must come to the conclusion that most people are miserable in their marriages….

Defining the Moments

People say there are defining moments in life. Moments that lay it out; the path of your life, for better or worse. I always wondered what would be. Would I miss it?

But now I don’t think there are defining moments, maybe in retrospect there are, but in the moment, these moments don’t exist, because you always think there’ll be a next time to make up for what you’re doing now, or screw up whatever courage you have now.

Yehuda told me he tried marijuana, and that Ma and Ta know about it. I was ironing a shirt for him when he told me. I burned a corner, I don’t think he’ll notice.

“Wanna try?” he offered. I darted a glance at him and gave a quick “No.”, even though it was total yes. Yes, out of curiosity and experience, not the rebellion, but no, because no one else would see it that way.

No one sees anything my way. No one gets why I ask questions that they can’t answer, no one gets why I care in the first place. They say I’m challenging, I think I’m just a kid. Yehuda says it’s all crap. The whole things a farce, and that I know it too, I just don’t have the courage to admit it.

I don’t know what I think, but looking back, saying no then, was a defining moment for me.

I wrote this a really long time ago as a start of a supposed book that never came in being (like most brilliant ideas). Not sure what I’m going to do with it, but I kinda like what I wrote about defining moments. Whaddya think?

Substitute Imagination

On Wednesday I subbed. This was on real short notice (I got the call a little after 1, the period started 1:40). The principal told me to teach whatever I wanted, and I did.

I did an old standby lesson, the lesson I actually used as a model lesson to procure my previous job. And I’ve taught this lesson elsewhere. It’s a fun lesson about word choice, focusing on verbs, and not relying on adjectives to make your sentence good.

I start off with a simple sentence like,

The girl walked into the room.

Starting with the verb, we change the words to more accurate words to reflect what we want to convey. Did she saunter, sashay, creep, whirled, storm, glide into the room? And move on from there to who is this girl, and what room she is entering.

Of course there are always kids with little imagination, and all they can think of is ran into the room, and the like. And of course the room is a classroom, but usually the girls can break out and come up with something original in one of the areas. And there are always the really creative minds that shoot out great words and ideas on cue.

The thing is, the majority of the girls in this class were the first sort, little or no imagination. I’m not used to that. The most unique word was saunter, stomped comes next.

I’m trying to decide if it’s a reflection of the school? The society?

They have no imagination because they’re so restricted or they have an imagination (meaning there’s hope) but they’re just too scared to speak up in fear of saying the wrong thing. (Bear in mind the principal was observing this lesson)

To Be Someone

Last week I was laid off by my morning office job. I don’t feel so bad. I’d been complaining to my husband the past few weeks how bored and unstimulated I was. (When my husband had told his Rabbi that I was working in an office part-time, he expressed his concern. “She needs to be stimulated, she’s smart.” I was flattered, but still took the job.)

Regardless, I need a new morning job. I’m still looking for an office job because frankly, I don’t want to prep or mark more than I have to. I’m still in shana rishona after all, even if my husband does go to night seder. In any case, my efforts so far have been fruitless. I updated my resume, made myself sound very skilled and professional, proudly touting my ability to file alphabetically (don’t laugh, I’ve caught many a abc mistake on my co-workers part), put on my most professional voice, and said all the right things, but I haven’t even been able to score an interview (well, the part-time sector is running low these days, and there isn’t much in the offering, but still).

It’s so comforting knowing I can sleep in, but what with my afternoon teaching job engaging in midterms, I’m home. All day. Wrapped in my grey fleece robe. Such positive and productive feelings to go to sleep in the same thing you woke up.

I also need money, considering that my annual income has just been slashed in half. So I started cold-calling schools and offering to put myself on their subbing list. They requested that I send them resume, and they’ll get back to me if anything. That was yesterday.

As of today, I’ve subbed in one school, have another subbing gig lined up and got offered subbing jobs in two others. I also went on an interview for a potent teaching position next year.

They’re dying to have me. They oohed and aaahed over my resume, engaged me in a discussion on education and the Jewish Community, education philosophy and approaches and offered me job on the spot. They gave me all sorts of reasoning and calculations as to why teaching in their school is incomparably, and infinitesimally better than the one I’m currently in. Also, if I need to fill up my schedule, they’ll call up other local high schools and get me positions, just so I could teach in their school.

Do you know how good it feels to be wanted, needed, sought after? To be valued, an asset, a prize to be gotten? To be skilled, professional, and productive?

It feels freakin’ amazing.

And I still need a steady morning job.