Husband Hashpa’ah #2

It’s terrible, since I’ve written the last post, I’ve allowed myself to speak a much more yeshivishe sprach than before. It’s like now that I’ve let the world know that I’m making fun of it, I can say whatever I want.

In any case, here’s Part 2

Part 3 after Yomtov!

Feste – She was wearing Feste shoes, Christian Louboutin, cost an arm and a leg

Yur n’Tzerik – Yur n’Tzerik I’d call her, now I’ll just text her mazal tov.

Musig – The play was so boring, and clichéd, you have no musig of the pathos evoked.

Shtulz – Uch, their so shtulzy, with their kids in Lily matching underwear, I’m not even trying.

Not chal – Don’t show till after ten. It’s not chal until Mrs. K, opens up her mouth.

Matziv – It’s so not a matziv, for G-d’s sake it’s a funeral

Mistama – Mistama she’s not gonna wanna come, do I still have to invite her

Chevtza – She’s a chevtza. Of what? Of garbage.

Spitz – It’s shpitz her to say that and not even realize what she said

Kav – It’s not your kav, I don’t think you should buy it.

Zach – He has this zach about sports, don’t even go there.

Not shayach – You havta read it, it’s not shayach!

Mehalech- she wanted to leave after the chuppa; I told her it wasn’t a mehalech

Sharf – And then she called her stupid, ooh it was “sharf”

Masbir – What I don’t get it, you sign up, you get the discount and then you cancel? And they don’t chap? You have to be masbir to me

Nogea – I get paid on the books, make to much money; WIC is not nogea

How many did you know on this list?!