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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Compliment Complex

Cana someone tell me what the wait time is before I can start believing people when they compliment me?

It’s one of the woes of getting married.

“Didn’t they teach you to cover your hair in Kallah Classes?”

“It looks like it’s growing out of your head!”

“It looks just like your hair, amazing!”

Look, I love my shaitel (as much as you can love an itchy net with someone else’s hair [Thank You Olga, Yetta, and maybe even Sven] sewn into it). I look amazing, but it’s not that good, and any Jewish person with a discerning (or not even so) eye will notice how it doesn’t bristle in the wind, how humidity will not frizz it, and when I run my fingers through it, it goes perfectly back into place. They may also notice the tell tale line at the forehead (go with bangs my friends, most natural!)

And then there’s everyone going on how amazing I look.

“You lost weight!”

“I can feel your ribs through that hug”

“Such cheekbones!”

“Oiy so Cheenush” (gotta get the right accent on that line)

Gimme a break, I gained weight, like most people do after their wedding. Nothing significant, 2-3 pounds, but it shows up in my face first, so it’s like “Hello, fat”.

I’m just not used to eating such complete meals a day. Lunch is a whole sit-down affair with with fruit and salad and bagels and cookies for dessert. I’m used to eating cereal and milk for breakfast, lunch and dinner .

OF COURSE I GAINED WEIGHT and you denying the fact, and actually proclaiming the opposite makes me feel even fatter, and like a baby, “Awww you’re so cute, such pulkes”, except when you’re a newlywed it’s “Awww, you’re such a cute couple, look how they look at each other, you look amazing, you’re shaitel…..”

So, I’m on a diet.

And hiding away in my snood (one of my shaitels is right where it belongs, back at the shaitel macher, yay)

Compliment me if you dare…and if you do, you know how I’ll respond.

“Oh, thank you so much…really, you think so?…I dunno, I’m not used to it yet…Thanks, I’ve been feeling so fat, it’s good to hear someone think otherwise…”

I’m so good at smiling and nodding it’s terrible; I guess I’m just lying right back at ‘em

 
18 Comments

Posted by on July 14, 2009 in Marriage

 

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Greetings Earthlings

Hi,

I’m really married, and running my own home.

I know this because I did laundry and already have socks that don’t pair up.

Life is good.

I recommend it J

I’m in LaLa land.

Let you know when I land.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on July 6, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

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