Kallah Confrontation

I have/had a wedding every night this week. This of course brings up the question that everyone has, but no one talks about in fear of sounding socially retarded.
 
What do you say to the Kallah?
 
I never know what to say.
 
Tell her she’s beautiful? She’s heard that enough tonight, and seriously, there’s no substance, what’s she [...]

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My Job is Better Than Your Job

I love my job.
 
I love teaching.
 
I love my students.
 
I love my subject.
 
But most of all,
 
I love my schedule.
 
Teaching in a Jewish Girls High School lends itself to the best schedule EVER.
 
I am off in the summer
 
I am off for two weeks in January and the entire June due to midterms and finals
 
I am off [...]

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Dating Duties and Desires

Dating is an overdone topic, yet, everyone still wants to hear about everyone else’s rules, expectations, disasters, triumphs and frustrations in this area. I’m count myself among the everybody, and I’m gonna add my little tidbit here.
 
Easy ways to impress me on a date.
 
-         Show up on time. Not fashionably late, but on time. My [...]

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Fat is Not a Fairy Tale

Fat Is Not a Fairy Tale
Jane Yolen
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
Cinder Elephant,
Sleeping Tubby,
Snow Weight,
where the princess is not
anorexic, wasp-waisted,
flinging herself down the stairs.
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
Hansel and Great,
Repoundsel,
Bounty and the Beast,
where the beauty
has a pillowed breast,
and fingers plump as sausage.
I am thinking of a fairy tale
that is not yet written,
for [...]

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The Great Debate

My entire family is watching/listening to the debate.
I’m avoiding it.
 I’m sick and tired of this election; I’m not happy with my options and frankly terrified of the results either way.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much.
And I’m still all annoyed that 3 of my friends still haven’t managed to register, or have [...]

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When the Relatives Came (and don’t go)

Nieces and nephews are the best thing ever. You can love them, kiss them, spoil them, don’t have to worry about discipline or consistency, and when they get annoying, you ship them back home.
 
That is unless their home happens to be yours too.
 
Comes Yom Tov and all the married siblings come over. It’s great to [...]

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Yom Kippur Elucidated

I love Artscroll. Not because of the obvious fact that when you’re davening and counting pages you get to divide the page number in half, and WaLah davening is half over.
 
I took a good look this Yom Kippur at the English translation, and you know what, the tefilos are beautiful.
 
People ask, why do we [...]

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Violin String

I have on my table a violin string. 
It is free.
But it is not free to do what a violin string is supposed to do
 - to produce music. 
So I take it,
fix it in my violin
and tighten it until it is taut. 
Only then is it free to be a violin string.
- [...]

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Did I Miss Anything?

This poem is a favorite of my students (and me, well, I’m the one who introduced it to them). I wanted to share it with you, because I think it’s just so sharp and eloquent.
I think Fridays might become poetry days. Let me know what you think (of the poem and the Poetry Fridays).
Did I [...]

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Pithy Pumpkins

Families never let anyone live anything down, especially if it concerns your “future”.
 
A very long time ago (meaning 6 years ago), I burned a pot. A fish pot, to be exact. Oh, and the fish inside of it. The pot was incapacitated, and the fish thrown out. My family made fun me the entire Shabbos.
 
“….Hmmm, [...]

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