Rosh Hashana Ambiguity

Most bloggers have already mentioned Rosh Hashana in one way or another. Me, I don’t know what to say. I can’t inspire, I need inspiration. I can’t mock, because I don’t think it’s appropriate.
 
I’m average.
 
Part of me is going “What, it’s Rosh Hashana already?!!!” the other half is terrified of its implications.
 
Part of me knows [...]

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THE JEWISH NOVEL: a story of intrigue and interstate

 
            Welcome to the Jewish novel. This is where all the girls are perfect aidel Bais Yaakov girls, heaven forbid they forget to make a bracha (and it’s not explicitly written in the book every time they eat something, because how else would you know if they made a bracha.) All the boys shteig, and [...]

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The Perfect Post

 
I was flipping through some old stuff on Shabbos and found something that I wrote in 10th grade while I was bored in class. I liked it, so I’m going to share it with you.
 
The Perfect Day
 
When asked to describe a perfect day, I answer everyday. Everyday is perfect, because that’s how it was meant [...]

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Blasphemous Bikurim

On Shabbos my younger brother gave over a short d’var torah in typical question answer format.
 
Q: When people brought bikurim, the rich brought it in gold baskets, the poor straw. The Kohanim would give back the gold baskets and keep the straw. Why?
 
I came up with several reasons, some serious, some not
 
-         -Show the rich [...]

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Ahoy Fellow Scallywags

Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.
I’ve lost my touch.
Arrghh!

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It’s Black and White

I didn’t know I had an opinion on garbage bags, but apparently I do.
 
We always had black garbage bags in my house. Pretty standard, I think. You dump the garbage in the dark black hole and you never see it again. That’s the way it goes, it’s garbage, you don’t want to see it [...]

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Indignant Idiocies

I’m confused.
 
When it comes to kiddashim in shuls, sheva brachos, vorts, most simchas, the women get the best stuff.
 
The women get the Zeigleman cakes, Daskal’s cheese stuff, Portegal’s miniatures, chocolates by Edible Delights, the monogrammed cookies, the flower centerpieces. The everything.
 
While the men get the booze and sponge cake.
 
I’m ok with [...]

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Roll of the Vice

I edited it a bit. What do you think?
Roll of the Vice
              “Ouch!!! I burned my palette again!” She put her tuna melt down and wiped her face with a bleached disposable napkin.
It was hot outside, and I was starting to stick to the plastic chair. I tried shifting my weight, all I accomplished was [...]

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A Crying Shame

I cried twice today. A grand total of 7 tears. But my eyes welled up and leaked on two separate occasions, but the source was the same.
 
September 11th.
 
I was listening to the radio in the car.
 
They were reading the names.

A Hispanic woman spoke about her father who was a pastry chef in Windows of [...]

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Critique Please

 

I plan on teaching my students to write memoirs. I try to do everything I assign my students. I wrote a memoir, it’s a bit rough, let me know what you think.

Facing Myself

 

I knew she was going to call on me. I knew because everyone told me she was going to. They knew because yesterday [...]

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